I have been very tired lately, especially today, running on 2 hours of sleep. I’m sure that I am not the only one that gets tired. Making such a statement would be irresponsible and quite ridiculous. We need a remedy for this, and quickly. Wait, here comes another brilliant idea brought to you by Blue Damage! How about “Sleep in a Bottle.” Yes!

For each pill that you will take, it is equivalent to 8 hours of sleep. I’m not talking about caffeine pills. I mean the real deal sleep that we need for our bodies to function. Think about how much more we would accomplish without sleep. The economy would be better, people would probably be nicer and more productive and, most importantly, I wouldn’t be tired.

They have pills that can make a decrepit old man hard for hours, but still do not have an artificial sleep pill… what the fuck! This is necessary; it is the most necessary idea for a drug ever. Of course, some people would probably still want to sleep every once and a while because, when it comes down to it, sleep is really relaxing. But who is to say that taking these “sleep pills” wouldn’t have the same effect? We would possibly always be relaxed and well rested.

This pill would be great for all nighters, work, clubs, 3 day long concerts (don’t want to miss that band that plays at three in the morning), a weekend full of marathon sex and for people who are really burnt out like me. There has to be a scientific way to come up with a formula that regenerates or reenergizes that part of the brain like sleep does. I’m not a doctor though, so my hands are tied. This has to be developed soon, what the hell are these pharmaceutical companies waiting for?