Student A has a major dilemma. It is almost 10:30 p.m. and he hasn’t even started his report for english class. The report is due tomorrow and is worth 20% of his final grade. He recalls writing a very good paper about Flamingos in high school, the same subject that he must do his research paper on. He frantically searched for the paper, fumbling through folders and drawers till approximately 2:37 a.m. He then realizes it is hopeless. He has been searching for hours. Exhausted, he finally gives up. He has no report to turn in the next day, and subsequently fails his class. Due to the failure of the class, he loses his scholarship. Since student A can’t afford college, he drops out. He spends the rest of his life living with his parents, eating Frosted Flakes every morning, and watching reruns of Full House every night.

Student B has the same problem. Student B is in the same class as student A. The topic of student B’s report is duck-billed platypuses. It is getting pretty late, and she has not started her report either. Student B remembers the A+ paper that she wrote in 11th grade, which was on duck-billed platypuses. Excited, she jumps on her computer and loads a magical program by the name of Instafind. She quickly types in the description of the paper, and another screen loads automatically. This screen shows the exact location of the paper. She runs to the garage, pulls out a box, digs to the bottom… BA-ZING! Her paper was in that box! She types it up on her computer, prints it out, and is in bed by 11:30. Student B gets another A+ for this paper and is able to keep her scholarship. She passes the class, graduates from college, and receives a job from a very respectable company.

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The sequel is out in theaters and has raked in over $23 Million in its first week! The movie begins where the first left off. The virus has spread from the underground lab The Hive, forcing the Umbrella corporation to quarantine the entire city. Yeah, that’s basically the entire movie. The only part of the plot that was somewhat interesting was the very end of the movie, but I will not give that away. The special effects seemed low budget, even with today’s technology. The fight scenes, to quote Christy Lemire, “are a dark and messy mix of overly edited swish pans and jump cuts.” Based upon whether or not your played the videos games could also slant your outlook on the movie. This movie would have been a complete let down for me if it wasn’t for two things: Sienna Guillory and Milla Jovovich.

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Florida’s weather in the summer sucks. Everday, your guaranteed to step out of the house and start sweating profusely before you even make it to the oven that is your car. Imagine what it is like with no air conditioning! Hurricanes are no laughing matter either! Parts of Florida were lucky enough to miss Charlie and be on the east coast for Frances. Now, the category 5 storm Ivan wants to play around with us and toy with our anxiety. The experts will tell you that there is nothing that we can do to change the outcome of the storm’s path. I think that is false, and this is why I think we should boycott hurricanes.

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Describing drum and bass is always a challenge. It seems someone on Urban Dictionary has got it all figured out so we don’t have to worry anymore.

Dnb is typically played at satanic rave parties where girls are raped 6 times a night and everyone is forced to take Ecstasy by the promoters. Junglists usually don’t take ecstasy however; they prefer cannabis or pcp. Because of this, the dnb room probably seems alot less friendly than the rest of the rave to most people who don’t know what a amen is. Jungle is also associated with thug culture and there are alot of mean junglists who could kick your ass.

Classic! This passage was originally taken from Urban Dictionary, however, the definition has recently been removed.

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