There has been a conspiracy theory floating around the internet since the presidential debates began. According to some pictures taken of George Bush from behind, there is a suspicion that he was using a wireless (wifi) receiver during the debates. Many are convinced that there is no other explanation for the noticeable bulge in the middle of his upper back.

Let's face it. If the president was going to use a wireless receiver during the debates, do you think he would be a bit more discrete about it? Across the internet, bloggers and reporters have apparently found the device used and linked to the page. This page labels the product as "affordable." Do you really think that George Bush doesn't have the budget to purchase, maybe, an "expensive" wifi unit? When was the last time you recall Bush worrying about a budget anyway? Do you think that maybe John Kerry wears one too and the receiver is tucked away under his taint? Who cares! Both of them look like complete assholes, and a wireless device won't save them from that. Well, you may be asking, "What is that in the pictures then?" Here's my theory.

George Bush has two penises. One of them is still located in the normal area for a man. The other is on his back, genetically spawned from undergoing years of freakishly evil experimental testing that he agreed to when he sold his soul to Satan. That bulge isn't a wireless receiver my friend, it is a penis. I'm sure of it. Why do you think Dick Cheney is always patting and rubbing George on the back? That's right, it's full fledged, in-the-closet presidential man love. Whether or not the testicles are included with the penis on his back is still a mystery.