This is a joke. If you feel like being entertained, read on. Otherwise, check the comment here.

An administrator of the Blue Distortion Forums has taken Search Engine Optimization (SEO) a bit too far for phpBB. We met up with this administrator to see what approach he is taking and ask him a few questions. "Well, most of the search engines don't like dynamic php pages [such as viewtopic.php?t=1] as much as static, html pages. I decided that, the easiest way to do this, is to just have everyone email me their topics and replies to topics and I will hand code all of the threads," said the administrator. "I really can't think of an easier way. It seems like it will be quite efficient. I think I'm going to start sometime next week."

Stressing efficiency and speed, the administrator is not new to phpBB SEO. As a matter of fact, he figured out how to remove SIDs from the dynamic pages of phpBB after searching on the internet for a few hours. "Yeah, those things killed us in the search engine when we first started. Generating the phpBB pages by hand, I won't even have to worry about SIDs at all. Every page will be html, coded by me to my standards."

With over 15+ posts a day on the forum, the administrator doesn't see a problem with doing it by hand. "Look, as I said before, I can probably knock out a post a minute. This won't take too much of my time. Our forum members just have to be sure that when they email me posts they have these things included: the topic, their reply of course, if they want someone quoted, how much and what part of the quote they want quoted, any included pictures, links... you know the usual. I'm going to do away with polls, editing posts, the search function... that type of stuff for now. We did a poll on the forums to ask how many people would miss the poll feature, not too many said they would. Only six people voted on the poll and all voted to keep the polls. Six people just doesn't seem like a majority to me. It's too small of a number."

We then asked the administrator of the forums if he had ever heard about mod rewrite. He responded, "I just don't think mod rewrite is very flexible. I've looked into it and it's way too complex for me to figure out. Besides, I think that doing it the way I am is going to save a lot of time." We then asked if he had any advice for newbie search engine optimizers running phpBB forums. "Don't buy into this mod rewrite and functionality newspeak. Stick to what we know best, html. Progression is never a good thing."