Frightening the community of New Haven, Connecticut, Kiducation released it's collection boxes across the city. These collection boxes feature the phrase "we turn old clothing into new kids through education" labeled under the company's name. We found it strange that they could genetically spawn new children from old clothing using education. We spoke with Mike Brown, part-time volunteer for the organization about their procedures. "Yeah, it's a new practice involving creating children from old clothes. I know it sounds evil, but, our company is good at heart." We then asked Mike how education plays a part in the process. "Well, a bunch of us were sitting around one day with some old clothes. Using education that we had learned over the years, we were able to take an old flannel and spawn a new kid named Frank. There he is over there." We looked over, and sure enough, a young boy was waving back. He looked quite normal and, ironically, was not wearing anything flannel.

"We have been doing this for years, we just decided to make a business out of it," said Mike. We then asked Mike what they did with the new kids and he told us, "Sometimes they work for our company, sometimes they don't. It all depends on how well the creation goes. Rarely, but every once and a while, the begetting does not go so well. We have had a few instances of new kids with shoes for hands. Or, you know, only a shirt as a head. They normally don't survive too long." We then asked Mike if he thought his company was playing God. Mike then started screaming and melted into a pile of clothes. Our team of investigators went out and had a few beers afterwards, it was a little much for us to handle.

Note: Obviously, this is a joke and Blue Damage has nothing but respect for charities such as Kiducation. We just found their slogan quite humorous. You can reach their website here.