We all know the the surefire way to pick up ladies is by blogging. Absolutely. Richard King, a self proclaimed "blogger by influence," is quite pissed off that he still hasn't met any ladies. Blue Damage spoke with Richard to discuss his love life, or, lack there of. "I've been blogging for, like, 6 months or so," said Richard. "All of my internet buddies told me that blogging using Wordpress was the easiest way to pick up ladies online. I still haven't met one girl from this whole ordeal. I mean, I usually only get spam comments." Richard told us that he covers very interesting topics ranging from calligraphy, stamp collecting to even milk taste-testing.

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In a series of events a little bit too similar to the humorous Office Space PC Load Letter issue, John Dems has had enough, and he surely isn't laughing. "Chalk up another one for the Kodak 3200 Duplicator, it appears I've lost again," said John. Working for a company with the bullsh*t title of "Facilities Clerk," John is very familiar with copiers. "I've been doing copy jobs for over 4 years now. Ever since I started here, I've had nothing but problem after problem with this copier. I'm damn sick of it," murmured John. What seemed to be an easy copy job this time around turned out to be a nightmare. Only 130 double-sided copies of 80 sheets was needed.

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After a long 4-year trial, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was just cleared of all corruption charges. "I was right to be calm because I knew fully well I had done nothing wrong," said the Prime Minister. He was accused of bribing judges in the 1980's to help his business interests. "Yeah, I had to pay these judges a lot more this time around with inflation and all," said Silvio. "That and, you know, the whole ethics thing. These judges weren't as easily bought off as I remember back in the day."

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Vinny Silverstein is no stranger to the underground scene of Polka. "Yeah, I've been DJing Polka for about 8 years now," said Vinny. Vinny's DJ name is Polkahontas and he is well know for his extremely underground, dark and heavy selection of Polka. He told us a little bit about the scene and his growing disdain for it. "Back about 10 years, in the early days of underground polka, the scene was way more relaxed. It was just starting to get good... and... you know... people were really nice to one another." Vinny blames the slow commercialization of Polka and the new scene whores ruining the vibe. "We call them polkalists. Fuck polkalists. They are just way too scene for me," whimpered Vinny.

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High Definition Television (HDTV) purchases are on the rise, however, things are about to get a little more interesting. We met with Ron Starsel, representative from the High Definition Enforcement Team (HDET), to ask him about the changes being made. "We are a new initiative founded earlier this year, funded by the US government. Basically, if you don't upgrade every one of your televisions by the end of next year, we come to your house and terminate you," Ron said.

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We have been doing a lot of research on the Loch Ness Monster in the last few days. We have been trying to get an interview with Ness, however, his schedule is booked for the next few weeks. Here are some cold hard facts that we have discovered through random interviews, research and plenty of alcohol.

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