Monkeys NOT Working Around the Clock, On Strike
A group of hardworking monkeys, known for their tendency to work around the clock, began a strike against their employer earlier this week. Bobo Baggins, spokesperson for the strike, told us that it would be permanent unless all demands were met. He may look happy in the picture, however, he assured us that he is dying a little on the inside everyday he goes to work. “Look, we work around the clock and it’s quite tiring,” said Bobo. “They don’t let us give any creative input at work, we are only allowed to write what we are told or else we get teh whip. I can’t believe people actually watch this garbage. When a show has low ratings, we get blamed for it! Let’s blame it on the monkeys again! Why should we put up with this?” Bobo told us as he lit a cigarette.
“We want more god damn bananas too, is that too difficult? Christ, I love bananas, and so do my fellow workers. It’s not just stereotype, it’s for real,” Bobo pleaded. “Our working conditions are definitely not desirable either. We have to work in office cubes, or as monkeys call them, people farms. How about a tree or two for us? We would probably be more productive when able to work in a habitat that we are used to. Also, what happened to the monkey prostitutes that we used to get on the 1st of the month?” Bobo frowned as he took another deep drag in his cigarette.
While these demands may see quite unrealistic, these monkeys deserve better working conditions because they make up for the incompetency of humans at Fox Broadcasting. The monkeys are quite worried that Fox will call their bluff and begin to outsource to other monkeys around the globe. Or they might just get teh whip. We recommended to them to work for PBS instead; their benefits package for monkeys is highly respected in the monkey community.
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Article came out great, thanks for the interview! I’m currently working on a blog, monkeysblogaroundtheclock.com, I’ll let you know when I get it up.
Cheers, Bobo
Comment by Bobo — 1/10/05 @ 6:19 pm
the monkey will write what its told or else it gets the hose again.
bobo sounds so emo-core!!
<3
Comment by ali — 1/11/05 @ 1:03 am
Why are monkeys so funny in movies, but not in real life?
Comment by Trevor — 1/12/05 @ 1:31 pm
I want a chip for a pet – really i do!
Comment by Conner — 1/16/05 @ 5:53 pm
monkeys scare me…
Comment by mak_man — 2/25/05 @ 11:10 pm
We at Fox have been looking at the conditions of the Monkeys and are close to reaching a contract that they will definitely agree to. The conditions include one tree per 2 acres of cubicle space in each office. A dish of sweet baby bananas to maximize the amount of bananas available. We also have a benefits package that incudes vet visits with a co-pay of only twenty lashes to the back as opposed to most networks who offer a co-pay of 35 lashes to the chest.
We are also in search of a replacement whore monkey. The usual, LoLa, has passed away do to a scraping found in her kidneys inflicted apparently by a series of poundings to that area. The strike has in no way influenced us into outsourcing do in part to the lack of creative talent that only the fox staff has. We do plan to resolve this soon as our summer line up does seem to need more shows that do not include cow bells. We were going to hire human writers but this seemed to costly. That is all the information we are currently releasing until further notice.
Comment by Fox Network! — 3/22/05 @ 12:47 pm
there should be more pctures of frick’in monkeys because i love them so so much i even own a monkey named Cocanut we even sleep together so comfortible
Comment by cool chick — 3/31/05 @ 11:42 pm
respect monkeys! I AM ONE MYSELF
Comment by Monkey Lova — 5/9/05 @ 4:28 am
hey..
im luvin it 
monkeys r so so so so cute im sure ppl will argree wid me i want a monkey like da 1 on ace ventura its well prettyfied
Comment by ping — 5/19/05 @ 9:12 am
MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!! MONKEY!!
:p
Comment by ping — 5/19/05 @ 9:16 am
is this because of robbie williams? yes, i know he wrote a song called me and my monkey, but are the monkeys also on strike because they are treated badly (like makeup or something)?
Comment by some bozo — 5/25/05 @ 3:43 pm
Monkeys are too sexy to go to work.
Comment by groinsniffer — 8/1/05 @ 1:41 am
Cool Chic loves monkeys a little too much and apparently ping, with his/her subliminal message, is a spokesperson for the McDonalds corporation that visits random websites in order to ‘beef up’ burger sales.
Comment by Fat Kid At McDonalds — 9/12/05 @ 12:11 pm
Crazy ass monkeys, they act all innocent now like they aren’t plotting to kill Sting…well I’d like to see them try!
Comment by KaptainKorea — 11/28/05 @ 10:06 pm
Hey, a word to all you monkeys.. quit Fox while the job market for you is hot. The Government is looking for you. Lots of vacancies in public office.
Comment by Pranab Salian — 12/6/05 @ 1:19 pm
hey!!!
wow those monkeys are … well… i dunno they just are..
maybe they are smart… yet stuipid.. no??? meway… i agree with Pranab Sulian… lol
koryy
Comment by koryy — 6/16/06 @ 1:58 am