Cats are the coolest pets of them all. Why you ask? Here's how it is. If each pet's personality matched the intoxication effects of a drug, dogs would be drunk, birds would be stoned, snakes would be on PCP, but cats are on acid. Cats will sit there and stare at a wall for hours. They way that they hunt their prey is awesome, whether it be a bird or a crumpled up piece of paper. It is very intriguing. Their eyes are hypnotizing.

I recall one time that I decided to have a staring contest with my cat Ling Ling. No one was home and I didn't want to watch television; I saw nothing better to do with my time. After three minutes of staring into my cat's eyes, I began to worry. Could my cat really beat me at a human's game? I tried harder and harder to not move a muscle, just stare at my cat until she gave up. It was deathly silent in my house; even the quiet hum of the air conditioner or the refrigerator was not present.

Sweat began to form on my brow. She wouldn't budge, she was sitting as still as a statue. As the cat eyes drew me into a different world I became frightened. I started to scream gibberish at the cat, blurting out obscenities and words that a schizophrenic would tremble at. That's when it happened. My cat tilted her head and looked at me like she was saying "Who the fuck are you screaming at?" I got a head rush. I couldn't believe it. My cat had made a facial expression comparable to that of a human. Cat's shouldn't be able to show that much expression on their face. When I finally snapped out of my state of being panicky, I went over to the cat and we reconciled. After all, I wouldn't want her to kill me in my sleep. That would be tragic.