Another Bin Laden propaganda tape was released today to the world. There are apparently many things that have changed in the last few months with Bin Laden. The reason for Jihad is one of them. “Well, it loosely translates to we need more cowbell,” said interpreter Gene Shalls after analyzing the new tape. Translators and our team of investigators have been working around the clock trying to find the cowbell connection. It appears that Bin Laden has abandoned his hatred for the West and channeled it into love for cowbell.

The new video is leaving many insurgents confused and strangely aroused. Apparently, in the Koran, a cowbell symbolizes male fertility, or at least that’s what our investigators have found out. Already, across the Middle East, cowbell demand has gone up close to 1029%! That’s a lot of cowbell. The caves in Afghanistan will certainly be reverberating with the most pleasant sounding musical instrument ever, that we can be thankful for.