The John Bolton nomination fiasco has been quite entertaining to watch and read about, no doubt. It's been like watching Godzilla get appointed to Secretary of State. So, should John Bolton be elected as US Ambassador for the UN? "Wait, what about Michael Bolton? I celebrate his entire collection," you might be saying.

It's a toss up really. The UN does need to go through reform to curb the inefficiency and corruption, however, why would the UN be efficient and honest when EVERY SINGLE GOVERNMENT IN THE WORLD isn't? Also, John Bolton has ties with James Baker. Nuff said. That's why John Bolton's nomination should be scrapped and replaced with his moustache. Here are the arguments.

First off, moustaches are cool, way cooler than John Bolton. When was the last time you heard of a moustache snapping out and threatening the UN Secretarial Building with a terrorist attack by "lopping off 10 floors?" Moustaches don't flip out, they are cool and confident at all times due to their awesome nature. The only people that should be able to flip out and still be awesome are ninjas, everyone knows this. John Bolton is an angry man, caused by his ferocious appetite for newborn babies.

Secondly, moustaches are flexible, Bolton isn't. You can cut, shape and shave moustaches into any fashion desirable, you can even do it freestyle where anything goes and creativity is encouraged! Freestyle moustaches will soon be the 'in' fashion, so, John Bolton's moustache is the obvious choice here.

Finally, John Bolton is an isolator. John Bolton's moustache is a mediator. The US does not need to isolate itself anymore from the rest of the world through the UN like Moynihan and Kirkpatrick did, previous ambassadors for the US. Everyone loves a great moustache, do the research. Do I even need to bring up Sean Connery? Moustache rides? They grow on you.

Nominating John Bolton's moustache instead of John Bolton himself would be the better choice. To recap, John Bolton's moustache is cool, flexible and a mediator. John Bolton himself is angry, arrogant and an isolator. Already, grassroots organizations across the US are supporting his moustache to take the position, what are you waiting for? Write to your senator to support John Bolton's moustache for US ambassador today!