Warning, spoilers!

The staff here at Blue Damage is very knowledgeable about the Star Wars series. Therefore, it is a shame to say that the majority of us were very unimpressed with Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith. Hands down, it was terrible and quite possibly the worst movie ever made. XXX, State of the Union was way better than this piece of shit movie. Here are the main reasons why Star Wars 3 Sucks.

First, there were little to no special effects in the movie. A movie like Star Wars should have some great eye candy, if based alone on the other episodes. After all, it was produced by the company Industrial Light and Magic, world renowned for amazing special effects. I guess I was wrong. The only thing that they did animate in this movie was Hayden Christensen (the kid who plays Padme). He did look real though.

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If you’ve ever been on the internet, you probably have or have had a computer virus at some point. That is unless you use a Mac (they can’t access the internet). While the majority of viruses are damaging, extremely annoying and make you want to pound your head repeatedly into a brick wall, every once and a while a virus actually is useful and warranted. OK, this probably the first. Stan Downings, a student at USF, has written a self replicating virus that does some interesting things when users go surfing on the wonderful world wide web.

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Security experts around the world are calling it a terrible idea, but, what do security experts know anyway? The House has already passed the bill and today, the Senate will pass, without debate, the Real ID card. Debate and serious thought are really overrated anyway, especially when it comes to taking away more freedoms from the American people. Politicians sneakily slipped this bill into a request for funding for Iraq, which will obviously be passed without question.

We interviewed Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner, said to be the initiator of this bill, about the potential benefits of the Real ID act and how it will help to fight terrorism. “The Real ID [National ID Card] will aid in protecting this country from the terrorists that could strike at any time. They will also help us in the fight for freedom. The greatest thing about these wonderful Real ID cards is they can also be used as credit cards! We are offering a really low APR for the first 6 months (5%), it’s a great bargain for thrifty spenders that also are scared to death about terrorism,” Congressman Sensenbrenner told us.

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We all knew it was coming, like an itch after tapping questionable ass. Frank Globberton, 47 year old software engineer, is suing a neighbor for a dirty look. “Since I crossed eyes with this monster I just haven’t been the same. I lie around awake at night, I haven’t been productive at work, I can’t eat… The worst is I don’t get a kick out of old reruns of Growing Pains anymore, my favorite show. It’s really changed my life,” Frank told us.

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