We all knew it was coming, like an itch after tapping questionable ass. Frank Globberton, 47 year old software engineer, is suing a neighbor for a dirty look. “Since I crossed eyes with this monster I just haven’t been the same. I lie around awake at night, I haven’t been productive at work, I can’t eat… The worst is I don’t get a kick out of old reruns of Growing Pains anymore, my favorite show. It’s really changed my life,” Frank told us.

Frank is suing on the ground of substantial psychological and emotional damage caused by the alleged dirty look that took place early last week. Tim Roberts, the defendant, will be pleading not guilty to the charges. “This is really insane. He had on these ridiculous looking tight pants and puke colored Hawaiian shirt. I didn’t give him a dirty look, it was more of a ‘what is that outfit’ look,” Tim told us. “Look, the dude needs some sort of Extreme Makeover. What will people sue over next, telekinetic rape?”

Frank, who has been taken residence in a wheelchair and flowered patterned muumuu since the event took place, is optimistic about the trial. “I really think we are going to win big here. It’s not about the money though, it’s about justice,” he murmured.