Real ID to Double as Credit Card! Low APR!
Security experts around the world are calling it a terrible idea, but, what do security experts know anyway? The House has already passed the bill and today, the Senate will pass, without debate, the Real ID card. Debate and serious thought are really overrated anyway, especially when it comes to taking away more freedoms from the American people. Politicians sneakily slipped this bill into a request for funding for Iraq, which will obviously be passed without question.
We interviewed Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner, said to be the initiator of this bill, about the potential benefits of the Real ID act and how it will help to fight terrorism. “The Real ID [National ID Card] will aid in protecting this country from the terrorists that could strike at any time. They will also help us in the fight for freedom. The greatest thing about these wonderful Real ID cards is they can also be used as credit cards! We are offering a really low APR for the first 6 months (5%), it’s a great bargain for thrifty spenders that also are scared to death about terrorism,” Congressman Sensenbrenner told us.
“We are using the interest that we receive off the credit cards to fund research on how to take away more civil liberties of the American people without anyone really noticing. For our safety and freedom of course. We wouldn’t want people to live in fear of terrorism. We will also be installing radio-frequency identification (RFID) chips into these ID cards, so, we can know where you are at all times. For safety from terrorism of course,” Sensenbrenner stated.
The Real ID card looks like it will do a lot of great things: kill our already dying tourism industry, put citizens at a higher risk of identity theft, waste money that could go into actual intelligence gathering, provide sensitive information to other countries about Americans, impose domestic travel restrictions forcing you to carry your Real ID card everywhere and most importantly, protect us from the evil doers.
George Orwell is not only rolling in his grave, he is doing the worm.
13 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
I think the ID cards are a great idea. 5% is really low by the way, I am paying like 9 right now.
Comment by i — 5/10/05 @ 5:18 pm
Well, that’s how they get ya. After 6 months it jumps up to 24.99% variable APR. So, what are the reasons that you think the cards are a great idea, Miss Communist? And don’t say terrorism.
Comment by recipher — 5/11/05 @ 12:40 pm
I can say terrorism if I wanna. Terrorism pays the bills in my house. On a more serious note. They have tried everything for more efficient security in airports. Facial recognition was tried but it was incapable of measuring and comparing people of a certain skin coloration. See even machines are racist these days. Let me tell you how much I LOVE waiting in the TSA lines to get on planes. With a federal ID, my wait time would be significantly reduced. And really, thats all that I am concerned with. We dont agree on anything except emu-llamas.
Comment by iHeArTCoMmUnIsM — 5/11/05 @ 2:10 pm
Seriously, why don’t they just shove a leash up our ass? Or a homing device. I heard some tech companies are now seriously investing in developing tracking devices for newborns… under the seemingly benevolent aim of prevent accidental baby swaps in the hospital.
Comment by Imogene — 5/11/05 @ 2:35 pm
That man looks like a child molester.
Comment by Imogene — 5/11/05 @ 2:36 pm
If you carry a cellphone, they can already track us. The thing that I think is the scariest is that the tacked this on to a must pass bill (very sneaky) and that no one knew about it. Apparently, some did debate the bill before it was passed yesterday.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4647596
Comment by recipher — 5/11/05 @ 3:34 pm
Terrorism pays the bills in my house.Is your Dad Tom Delay?
The Real ID cards can be forged just like any other document. Why not put all of this money into actual intelligence operations? Or, why not spend the money on implementing standards for alternative fuels sources?
Terrorism is inevitable, but, it’s also VERY rare. If anything, with our foreign policy, we are creating more terrorists and paying for it with our country’s economic future and liberty. I may just be insane and my theories could be caused by my severe lack of green tea today.
We dont agree on anything except emu-llamas.That’s not true, we both like Canada and Star Wars.
Comment by recipher — 5/11/05 @ 3:46 pm
Like I have said many times, why bother finding alternative fuel sources? We are bigger and badder than the OPEC nations. Take em down!
You are only 75% right on the last one. I like star wars. You LOVE star wars. The poster of Darth on my wall is not in a frame, and yours is. Canada is great, Eh?
Comment by iHeArTCoMmUnIsM — 5/11/05 @ 4:09 pm
You do realize that Senator Palpatine symbolizes George Bush. Or Darth Vader does. But, for some reason, I don’t think that Jenna or Barbara will be restoring balance to the force.
Comment by recipher — 5/11/05 @ 4:40 pm
Cheney clearly represents our Lord of Sith (maybe that’s an anagram for s-h-i-t, I don’t know). Be prepared… it looks like he may make a run for it in ‘08. Those two vacuous idiots couldn’t return balance to a see-saw if they tried. I can’t think of two better reasons for birth control.
Comment by Imogene — 5/19/05 @ 12:03 am
I think the idea is ludacrist in that it serves no purpose other than to sort out all the liabilties it can create. Whats needed is a mandatory US issued ID card without worrying about credit cards and apr s. It certainly could do a lot better than this current proposal!
Comment by Brian Maloeny — 8/16/05 @ 12:24 am
So those of us with bad credit (unable to be approved for the low introductory 5% rate) will probably be shipped to some camp underneath Guam….
Comment by Fat Kid At McDonalds — 9/12/05 @ 11:56 am
“We are using the interest that we receive off the credit cards to fund research on how to take away more civil liberties of the American people without anyone really noticing. For our safety and freedom of course.”
Does that bother anyone else? Secretly taking away our civil liberties? I’m not one of those people that pickets outside abortion clinics, or protests the government at every turn, but even I’M bothered by that. I mean, is taking away the grounds for our freedom helping freedom? That sounds like a contradiction to me.
Comment by XeOn — 8/11/06 @ 4:53 am