Blue Damage

8/31/05

New Smart Import Function for Microsoft Office

Filed under: — Recipher @ 1:50 pm

For years, users wanting to import a Microsoft excel spreadsheet into a Microsoft word document had to do it by hand. This is somewhat frustrating since it could take several days to recreate some spreadsheets. These unfortunate users are in luck because of the latest Office Updates available on Microsoft's site. The fine software engineers at Microsoft have developed an interesting new way to import called the Smart Import XP. This will allow you to import a spreadsheet into anything including word documents, ms paint pics, internets etc.

First, you open up the Excel Spreadsheet and print it out. Make sure you print it out on one page, because, it won't work otherwise. This is very important. Then fax the printed spreadsheet to your computer. Make sure your computer has fax enabled. You can do this by clicking on the Start Menu -> Fax -> Enable Fax -> Now. You can also enable fax using command prompt by typing the following command.

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8/24/05

Sex In Video Games

Filed under: — Max Power @ 5:28 pm

“Retail stores are not doing a very good job of parenting,” booms a self-righteous Senator Clinton as she dismounts her 25 foot tall robotic Clydesdale. “I mean, we entrust the raising of our children to these institutions and all they seem to care about is money,” she finishes, while wiping the dust and dung from her boots and giving it a taste. She is of course referring to the recent scandal in which pseudo sexual relations can be unlocked in the PC version of Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.

Senator Clinton retires to the comfort of her magical, flying log cabin. A glass of Sutter Home in her right hand, a thick Icelandic cigar clenched between her tobacco stained teeth. Barely wearing a revealing red teddy at all, she sprawls herself in front of the fire. Her legs are open, wide open. She has no sign of shame on her crudely painted face, and no sign of attempts to cover her shame either (droopy curtains).

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8/15/05

Delete the Internet(s)?

Filed under: — Recipher @ 11:20 pm

When a computer asks you to delete the internets you should sheepishly oblige.

The process of deleting the internets does take quite a while, sometimes up to a half an hour. But, think about how much space this will clear up on your hard drive! Make sure you have a backup of the internets before you delete them incase you need them in the future. Below are some common problems with deleting the internets that we have received in emails. Solutions follow. You can send us more questions here or post in this thread.

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8/10/05

Lucas to Release Star Wars: The Making of Behind the Scenes

Filed under: — Recipher @ 12:47 am

George Lucas, known to some as the mastermind of Star Wars, is currently working on a new project entitled, 'The Making of Behind the Scenes of Star Wars.' George Lucas told Blue Damage, "It's an epic tale about a crew recording behind the scenes of Star Wars. A struggle against time, agitated emus and myself. I stand by these as my creation beyond the creation."

Apparently, there will be over 5 versions released of "The Making of Behind the Scenes of Star Wars." These will all be released over the next 6 months.

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8/2/05

Bush Endorses Teaching Intelligent Design, Regression

Filed under: — Recipher @ 2:18 pm

What may come as a shock to a majority of Americans, President Bush announced today that he would like to see alternative creationist theories in science education, theories such as intelligent design. "It's hard work," Bush said to reporters. This is obviously long overdue and a great addition to any public school. Bush is calling the initiative, "Intelligence Regression." After hearing the news, several other religious groups are pushing to have their religious take on creationism being put on the curriculum as well. Religious groups like the Scientologists.

We got a chance to discuss with scientology spokesperson Tom Cruise about George Bush's new initiative. "I think it's a great idea... I'm going on Oprah tomorrow to show my support and push my religious agenda into science classes nationwide. This is a historical day! Now the whole world will know the true power of the Scientologists! MUAHAHAHAH!" Tom Cruise then started to jump all around our office, screaming something about a Katie and herpes. That's all we could make out from what he was saying.

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