Mother nature, with it’s sexy winds and blistering sun, was the latest target of Washington’s axis of evil earlier this week. After Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, a lot of politicians are saying enough is enough. “It’s hard work,” said President Bush. “American’s have resolve and we will win the fight against mother nature, and spread freedom around the world. I will not rest or go on vacation for months at a time until we have mother nature in custody, dead or alive.” Many were shocked to hear that a war against mother nature is being funded by a nation drowning in debt, none the less being held at all.

“It might seem like we are trying to destroy the earth, that can’t be further from the truth. An environmentally conscious nation like America can only help the earth. It’s hard work. Only those mother natures that are harboring extremist weather storms will feel America’s resolve,” Bush spoke to Congress. “The federal government will help pay for it,” Bush said. Thank God the federal government has all this money to throw around, because, the citizens surely don’t!

Many are considering changing the name of the new found war to show more compassion. ‘The Struggle Against Violent Weather’ seems to be what people are settling on, however, nothing is set in stone at the moment. “I am half man, half machine,” moaned Dick Cheney from a megaphone. To help in the War against mother nature (and be patriotic), you can complain about gas prices (even though we have extremely low prices because of our “compassionate” foreign policy), drive around aimlessly looking for more gas, never support peace or any hippy derivative, become a christian fundamentalist and smoke crack. Lots of crack. Who needs mother nature anyway. Bush said, “Rarely is the question asked is our nature needed? I’ve looked into it and the answer is a big no!”