Blue Damage had an opportunity to speak with John Roberts today about a few subjects of interest to him. Future Chief Justice John Roberts told us that he was considering renaming the Supreme Court the “Extreme” Court once he is confirmed. “It’s rock and roll baby! Are you ready to ROCK?!” John Roberts screamed.

While Blue Damage is ALWAYS ready to rock at the drop of a hat, we were slightly confused why at his Senate confirmation hearing, he wasn’t actually confirming anything. “Yes, I am leaving everybody in the dark on key issues, except for the fact that I love the movie Dr. Zhivago. That got a few laughs didn’t it,” Roberts joked. “What can I say, it’s a good movie.”

Roberts will be the youngest chief justice to serve for the Extreme Court for over 200 years. “Yeah, I’m quite young, but, that doesn’t mean I believe in things like privacy or civil rights. That’s doesn’t mean I don’t believe in things like privacy or civil rights, necessarily. I’m very mysterious.”

“Did you like that baseball analogy with the umpire… that was cool right?” Roberts said. It seems like the only thing that can stop his Chief Justice nomination is some sort of scandal. But, what kind of scandal would a guy like John Roberts be involved in? We asked political scandal expert Karl Rove.

“Since I told Bush to appoint Roberts, he is actually part of the greater scandal that I have been planning for years. On the lighter side of scandals, however, Roberts has been involved in communist candle parties. Not the fun ones either, the ones where the kittens are killed,” Rove said. “Also, Roberts really is into women’s perfume and high heel shoes. He thinks it’s sexy, but, so do I. We get together on the weekends and dress in women’s clothing. It feels great against my soft skin.”

When we asked Roberts about his obsession with women’s clothing, he said, “I don’t think that is the appropriate approach. You need to look at the real world impact in this area and I think in other areas as well,” Roberts said, dodging the issue again. “But, I do love candle parties and will admit that.”

It’s good to see that the confirmation hearing is going on without a hitch. Some of the questions to be answered (or completely dodged) by Roberts today are: what are your feelings on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, have you heard about Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, do you like moustaches, would you consider growing a moustache, what’s your favorite color and, the ever thought invoking, are you ready to ROCK!