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1. Tom – Dan… I don’t know how to tell you this… I had sex with your wife.
   Dan – S’alright. I facked your mums.

   Comment by recipher — 12/2/05 @ 2:06 pm

2. Joe: Hey Bill, I havent seen you in a while. How have you been?

   Bill: Well man, I have cancer.

   Joe: Oh my God, Thats horrible. How long do you have?

   Bill: Nah, I’m fine. I just hate your guts.

   Comment by Max Power — 12/2/05 @ 5:36 pm

3. Tom: So you showed up to the swingers party alone, too?

   Dan: Nah, I brought along my other set of genitalia.

   Tom: !

   Comment by Fat Kid At McDonalds — 12/2/05 @ 8:57 pm

4. Tom: Hey, you know they are playing our song in this GMC truck commercial.
   Dan: I wish we could dance here, but, we will be ridiculed for our love. Damn homophobic football enthusiasts.
   Guy in back: I love this song. I just want to dance!

   Comment by recipher — 12/5/05 @ 3:55 pm

5. Tom: I’d like to kill somebody.

   Dan: Say that again.

   Tom: I’d like to KILL somebody.

   Dan: Let’s me and you go for a ride on that.

   (Courtesy of ‘Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer’)

   Comment by Fat Kid At McDonalds — 12/5/05 @ 6:55 pm

6. Joe: Turn your face to the left. Now the right. Thought so.

   Ted: What??

   Joe: You got a nose job. Nice, looks good on you.

   Comment by pregopop — 12/8/05 @ 9:50 pm

7. Dan: Noooo, it can’t be. I watched you DIE!
   Tom: Hello, Dan.

   Guy in back: There can only be one…

   Comment by recipher — 12/9/05 @ 5:33 pm

8. tim: hey buddy
   dan: hey, how’re you?
   tim: good
   dan: that’s fantastic.
   tim: yeah, just moved into a bigger place
   dan: good, good. where at?
   tim: you know where maple and main meet?
   dan: sure. right there? i used to bike over there.
   tim: yup, right in a little bungalow on the corner.
   dan: that is great.

   real life is not funny…

   Comment by mortimernova — 3/7/06 @ 3:28 pm

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