Deep within the Midwest, several Intelligent Design "experts" have formed a lobbyist group. A coalition of the willing. They haven't come up with a name yet because it's very brand new. Representative from this very brand new group, Tom Watts, had the following to say.

"Look at it like this, science is a religion," Tom confided. "People don't really know that though. Unlike the fact based Intelligent Design, Evolution is a theory surrounded with more plot holes than that last episode of Star Wars I, which I boycotted because of the anti-Christian undertones in the film. I mean, have you seen these What Would Jedis Do bracelets? Ridiculous! What I'm trying to get at is, why should science receive government funding if it's a religion? Our group is against special treatment and these so called "grants" that scientists get for mucking around with wizardry and alchemy. Where do they get the nerve?"

It's a perplexing scenario indeed. "He has an interesting point. Rarely do I asks the question, what has science done for us lately?" President Bush told us in a rare telephone interview. "And why do these experts get to walk around blabbering on about things like the environment. And this "Gravity." People should be exposed to different ideas about the beginning of life," he smiled as he gave us a UFIA.

Tom told us, "There's a little thing called separation of church and state. It's in the constitution, if you didn't know. Since science is a religion, our group is demanding grants for Intelligent Design research, equal treatment. If not, science should not get the funding. Period! We are really making some progress in Intelligent Design with the help of some money laundered to us from Tom Delay, but, it's just not enough."

Several Republicans and a handful of enlightened Democrats are already supporting the group, but, won't speak publicly on it until a name is devised and it's official. This public outcry is sure to spawn bickering over semantics, several government funded investigations and a freak accident involving a møøse, three tubes of Crest toothpaste and a dead hooker. While distracted the masses a few of their "favorite things," legislators will start slashing budgets for science, pushing it further into the realm of mythology. Science is pretty ghey anyway. The Flying Spaghetti Monster was unavailable for comment.