At our noon meeting, the editor here at Blue Damage, my boss, pulled me aside to his office. "Great!" I thought, "How many times do I have to suck this guy off before I get my wife's severed foot back?" But it had absolutely nothing to do with that, it was about an interview for me to do with a famous white supremacist author. This man has evidently splintered off from the main stream hatred and is creating a fresh new movement for other, similar minded Aryan assholes to get behind.

Now I admit, I had a bunch of preconceived notions of white toothless hicks, banjo music, belly butting fingering, and anal sodomy. But my editor assured me, they have a great dental plan. Today's hate filled mountain folk are much more sophisticated than their earlier predecessors. They have made use of all sorts of modern amenities including the tooth brush and racist robot sentry droids, capable of identifying ethnic intruders then acting loud and ignorant until the trespasser leaves in disgust. I, being well educated and therefore very white, was granted admittance to meet their leader.

Chris Crossburner is an incredibly well spoken inbred hick. He is middle aged, perhaps 45, has balding strawberry blond hair, cut in the traditional mullet, and is very physically imposing due to him being a 9 foot tall mongoloid cyborg, trained in the deadly arts of Ninjitsu and hate speech. We sat down on the porch for a spot of tea.

He began amid his sparks and clanking, "I know we used to say that the Holocaust never happened but hell, we were misled by some pretty reliable sources, like the West Virginia Ouija Board factory and Johnny Rebel mad libs for starters." He blew a puff of smoke from his forehead then continued. "But now it seems obvious to us that the mountain of evidence for genocide was real, and not just an impossible world wide Jewish conspiracy to gain U.N brownie points and a museum of their very own. For that, and many other reasons which I will elaborate on, I am issuing my rasict recant. We are now saying that saying that the Holocaust never happened, never happened."

"That is very interesting indeed my giant, robo-ninja host, and fine tea as well." I have class. "Now your book is entitled, Get them there Mooslims out of my Face!, care to elaborate?"

"Sure Max, today's American knows that those dirty Mooslims are the real enemy. Not just the radical extremists that run their magic carpets into our skyscrapers, but the more common moderates as well. All those Mooslims are wolves in sheep's clothing if you ask me! They make no sense, I just can't figure out why they hate us for no reason at all. We had lots of great reasons for hating the Jews because we had the courtesy to make them all up."

"Had the courtesy to make them all up", I reinforced one of the funnier lines. "Well, what do your peers think about your new viewpoint?" I watched as my cyborg host's CPU overheated and sent his system crashing. What did you expect, the dude's a Dell. I waited 30 seconds then rebooted him.

"Some White Supremacist groups are finding a common bond with terror groups, ZING, WHIZ!" That's when a gear popped out of his groin, but he didn't seem to notice so I let him go on, "But not me. I love America, my vision of America. Let's face it, those Mooslims are a lot scarier than any bagel biting, lox lover that I've ever seen. So we've got a common bond now, I'm saying that if I'm forced to decide between sharing my country with a few Jews, Blacks, and Mexicans, and having the whole place burned down by a bunch of Oil Monkeys and their Desert Magic, then I think Mama was wrong, I can learn to share."

At this point, I'm not even paying attention to him any more, my cell phone plays video poker and I was wrapped up with that. I was basically nodding my head and throwing in a line every once in a while to keep things moving like, "Oh, please continue Mr. Crossburner."

"Ok, having an intelligent, well read and highly organized hate group like mine, we turned our evil eye toward the Mooslim. They hate the Jew, hate the White man, had Nazi connections, and, most recently, have been seen with Cindy Sheehan (Hail Satan) and Pat Robertson (Hail Satan, Hail Satan). That brings me to this, our new Aryan agenda. We're all going to start saying that Mecca is really Orlando Florida, and the 6^th Pillar of Islam is Obey Whitey. It's all in my book, you can buy it at www.racistbooks.com."

I returned home to my office, decorated with numerous jars filled by my wife's crudely severed appendages. I got online and found that no one owns that particular domain name yet. More importantly, that ignorant, racist, cyborg, cracker-giant gave me an idea. Most Muslims are fine people. It's a small minority of radicals that have twisted the religion to fit their own perverse, homophobic schemes. This happens to Christianity all the time. (See above) So I, Max Power, would like to start a new trend, to add a new word to our American lexicon. There are Muslims in the world and there are Mooslims. Don't be like Mr. Crossburner, leave the peaceful Muslims alone. But if you ever cross paths with a Mooslim terrorist, be sure to point them toward Disney World and kindly remind them of the 6^th Pillar of Islam.