A Complaint about Homophobia on Blue Damage
We recieved this email complaint yesterday from a Sir Ludwig Van Hutten. One can only assume that it should be read with a thick British accent.
Dear Sir:
I'm am writing about the subtle homophobic tone that Blue Damage has taken, especially since Max Power has started writing for the publication. Chaps that take issue with homosexuality scare me. What are they afraid of? What's wrong with being bent as a bottle of chips?
Normally, those more prone to accept the gay population will say, "I have no problem with gay people, as long as they don't hit on me." Or, something along the lines of, "As long as we don't have any social interaction, we won't have a problem." Backs to the wall right? These people get mad as a box of frogs! I take offense to this, I have friends that are homosexual!
While these gentlemen are at least more respectable than the outright gay haters, they still are quite homophobic. I have come up with an idea to prove that I do not suffer from any form of homophobia. I've decided to let pillow-biters perform sexual acts on my jacksie. Yes, you might consider this brash, but, as a manly man and scholarly gentleman, I consider it proof that I am not homophobic one bit.
For example, I was on holiday last month cottaging and a group of mates insisted on calling me a pansy lad for laying eyes on a basket. Instead of denying that I was homophobic, I allowed the bird to back scuttle my marmite motorway until I was quite paggered. So, instead of trying to prove that I don't mind gay people, I let men milk my plonker.
I thought maybe you should be aware of the new, more open-minded and friendly gay supporters. There's not need to prat about the issue when actions speak louder than words.
Yours Etc.
Sir Ludwig Van Hutten
I don't think anyone here will be on the recieving end anytime soon to prove that we are not homophobic. Except that Max Power fellow, because he's quite the fancy duke!
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I never thought I would be offended by anything ever written at BlueDamage. Yet as an ordained minister, I realized that there is only one avenue of retribution towards the author of this post, and that is to anally invade him to prove that real men do not like gay people. That’ll teach ‘em.
Comment by Rev. Fat Kid At McDonalds — 3/5/06 @ 12:08 am
Damn Fat Kid, are you an ordained minister or a Catholic Priest?
Most priests I know are more interested in back scuttleing marmite motorways than milking plonkers.
Comment by Max Power — 3/6/06 @ 1:36 pm
i’ll take one for the team guys… he has to ble cleanly shorn… waxed, not shaved… i love you guys… pray for me… and yes max power, i do mean to god… but the god that spells his name with a lowercase g, not that hoity-toity god that has to use capital letters…
Comment by mortimernova — 3/7/06 @ 3:06 pm
Dear Sirs:
I wish to complain about my complaint being taken not completely seriously. Unless Sir Mortimernova is truly a marmite miner, I am offended by the comments above.
Yours Etc.
Sir Ludwig Van Hutten
PS. I kissed the editor of this publication.
Comment by Sir Ludwig Van Hutten — 3/7/06 @ 7:33 pm
Ok, ok, ok…. You’re right, Max: buggery is nor for ministers but only for priests. So I will now pay a priest $11 to ‘absolve you of your sins.’ That should be legal, right?
Comment by Rev. Fat Kid At McDonalds — 3/8/06 @ 6:32 pm
I think thats how Lutheranism started
Comment by Max Power — 3/9/06 @ 2:10 am
i won’t pay priests for anything… except blow… god gives them the best shit…
Comment by mortimernova — 3/18/06 @ 4:21 pm
Sir Ludwig Van Hutten sounds like German, to me.
Comment by Egbert — 4/14/06 @ 1:05 pm
that sir ludwig is a baby
ahh wahhh you feel offended,FUCK OFF THIS IS A FREE WORLD
WEB SITE IF YOU DON LIKE IT GO FUCK YORE SELF!!!
AND LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THIS IS A HOSTILE WORLD
DAMN HIPPIES
WE SHOULD MAKE IT SO LUDWIG CANT ACCSESS THIS WEB SITE!!! any body agree yes??
Comment by clarkinhimer — 3/17/07 @ 11:39 am
dear fat kid at mcdonalds
if you read the page that is about mac computers you will see some good fights.
if you like macs tell all the featurs that dont work
if you like windows, just leave a message about why macs suck.
and can you stop takeing all the damn food!
Comment by clarkinhimer — 3/17/07 @ 11:45 am
sir ludwig is a queer
no doubt.
reread the last part of his posting.
and change that last part on the 3rd from this posting from “go fuck yore self to go fuck yo daddy.”
Comment by clarkinhimer — 3/18/07 @ 4:33 pm
emo music sucks! wait… what thread is this? i’m lost!!!
Comment by mortimer nova — 5/9/07 @ 3:10 pm