When something or someone upsets me I tend to release my angry blood by writing a scathing satire. I unleash a lampoon so pretentious, so crass and so inane that no one in their right mind will understand or appreciate it. The following will be no exception.

But it could have been, oh sweet, slim and sassy Jesus it could have been. I was going to try to be a little more sympathetic with my slander, a bit more likeable with my libel, but that was not to be my destiny. It seems to me that we are all pushed onto certain paths in life for a reason. It’s our responsibility as self-actualized adults to be true to ourselves and follow that path. That’s why I really don’t have a choice in what I’m about to do.

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