Steve Ballmer hinted today that Vista might be delayed EVEN MORE. Everyone in the IT industry and their mother has been talking about Microsoft pushing the release date back on Vista for nearly a year now. But what exactly are the reasons for this delay, besides Bill Gates obsession with quality? Microsoft has promised so many features that won’t even be included in this release, so, what are we waiting for? We consulted with an industry expert (in the shoe industry but, whatever) about why Microsoft is metaphorically blue balled.

“You are going to be very excited when I tell you this,” John Lavenstein said in an almost mocking tone. “A new version Microsoft Bob will be shipped with Windows Vista. THAT is the reason for the delay.”

A new version of Microsoft Bob? Well, what does that mean for people that weren’t a complete nerd 10 years ago? *Cue cheesy explanation music*

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We received this email message today and were SHOCKED at the things that could happen if you get the computer virus. Below is the email.

There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internets. If you receive an e-mail message with the subject line “REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP,” DO NOT read the message. DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG your computer, then BURN IT to ASHES in a government-approved toxic waste disposal INCINERATOR. Be sure to also destroy your modem, router, mouse, keyboard and any household pets that you own. EVEN PUPPIES. Wash your hands with bleach LIBERALLY after handling said computer.

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