It would come without a shock that the first and only bill that George Bush would veto would have to do with Stem Cell research. Of course, this isn’t news as all as it happened nearly a month ago. However, there are new developments in the story that Blue Damage was able to uncover. But first, we need to explore a little about George Bush and his relationship with these cells. President Bush is one of the most fiscally conservative presidents ever, who has a huge problem with saying yes to throwing away our tax dollars. Just like all Republicans. There are several levels to the word conservative as far as the definition goes, so we will just look at one.

Conservative – Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.

George Bush highly opposes change, just look at his favoritism of the constitution. Reform, for George Bush, is just another word for big government moving towards totalitarianism, something he won’t be a part of. You know, as he said in his presidential platform in 2000. It’s obvious why George Bush didn’t want to back Stem Cell research. It’s reform. It’s big government. It’s change. Well, that and the children.

What’s the real reason you might ask George Bush vetoed the bill. Morals? Ethics? No. Without a doubt, George Bush holds his morals and ethics so dearly that he makes Mother Theresa look like John Wayne Gacy. But it’s not morals and ethics. It’s the children. Blue Damage learned yesterday that Bush has spearheaded a campaign to collect all of the embryos that were being thrown away, in a project entitled No Embryo Left Behind (NELB).

Apparently, in a secret location several miles under his Texas Ranch, which is powered by switch grass, he is building a “people farm” like the one in the Matrix. Sources say he will be using this farm to generate alternative energy, much to the dismay of his friends in the oil industry. It will only be used to power his ranch which will one day house the Star Wars system Reagan spoke of in 1983. Ironically, the switch grass conversion for biofuel production on his ranch is failing because it doesn’t have enough funding. It is also speculated, by people wearing tin foil hats, that he is building an army made from the embryos, aptly coined Project Blastocystic Shock and Awe.

Why is it even a debate at all? Cord blood stem cells possess just as much potential for research as the ones from Embryos. How many people want to keep the placenta as a reminder of the process of child birth? “Are you gonna eat that?” These cord blood stem cells get thrown out anyway, at least at the moment (save and freeze that shit!). The problem is, without the initial funding, America is digging deeper into a hole where the bright light of innovation in the medical field gets dimmer by the day. Stem Cell research is the future of medicine. Of course, the whole Stem Cell debate is just that. A debate for distracting people from real issues. It is election time, after all. Cue gas price drop in 3, 2, 1…