The Three Main Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 2)
Why are people still sending us hate mail telling us Macs are better than PCs? I'm back to beat the dead horse with three MORE reasons why Macs suck. As Macs have slowly infiltrated my place of residence, clogging the intranet tubes like Steve Job's pubic hair in the sink, I've become pissed beyond belief. I think Macs suck hard and here are more reasons to not buy one and avoid them at all costs.
You still can't run Windows Millennium XP on Mac hardware, or any other awesome Microsoft products. Apple hasn't put out a good operating system since Apple DOS 3.3 and that's a fact. In an age where I can run Windows Millennium XP alongside Windows 95, why can't I dual boot yet on a Mac? It is because the snobby, pretentious marketing department at Apple realizes Mac OS 9 will never live up to any Microsoft products. It doesn't even have Notepad! What kind of operating system doesn't have that? If I didn't need notepad, I would run a Linux.
Secondly, Macs cause Global Warming. Did you see the documentary with Al Gore? Did you notice that laptop that he is using? Hypocrisy at its best. If Macs didn't have that stupid Apple light on all of the backs of their laptops, it would result in 20 billion tons less carbon dioxide pollution in as little as 15 minutes. While you're sitting on forums bitching about your global warmings and the 9/11 conspiracies, Windows 95 like me are users are lowering their carbon imprint. It's safe to say, if Al Gore didn't use a Mac he might have won the election in 2000.
The third reason why Macs suck is the fact that they can't play music. Not even Yanni. Shut up, you know that dude is bad ass on the dual piano. Last Thursday, everyone at our office decided we would try and install iTunes on our Powerbooks. Big mistake. The Mac starting quacking and wouldn't stop. We tried to right click but realized that there was no way to do that. So we tried left clicking, but there is no left click either. Only a middle click. And the click doesn't even work unless you hold down the clubs button. What is with that anyway?! I want to listen to Air Supply, not play Canasta!
In conclusions, I still stand by my original argument that PCs are way better than Macs. Even the pcPhone is way better than the over-hyped, lame ass iPhone. I would much rather run AOL on my Dell Powerbook than ever use a Mac product ever again. While we do appreciate the free gifts to test out Macs, we are just throwing them right in the trash where they belong.
Continued from The Three Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 1).
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FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Mac Hacker — 3/26/07 @ 2:05 pm
THis is bullshit! the writer of this doesnt no what he is talking about! Macs CAN PLAY MUSIC I”M LISTENING TO MUSIC NOW.
Comment by MacDude — 3/26/07 @ 2:21 pm
bwahahaha… air supply reference = rate up! i gott say, i feel as strongly about this as you do. the fact of the matter is, macs are made by witches. the money they make off of mac sales is how they keep their brooms fueled to fly around and kidnap babies for their witches brew. if people keep buying macs, more babies are going to to be turned into stew. won’t somebody think about the children?!
Comment by mortimer nova — 3/26/07 @ 3:28 pm
Relax guys, you should try scrolling up to the top of the page and reading the name and title of the site: “Fake news. Distorted satire. Sexy llamas”.
Obviously the author was pulling a #2 on this one, probably just to torque-off the Mac fanboys**.
** I own three Macs myself, and found this very funny!
Comment by LinuxUser — 3/26/07 @ 3:35 pm
i like big macs!
Comment by mortimer nova — 3/26/07 @ 5:58 pm
Agreed. Macs are just garbage, as seen here:
http://www.vitaluna.net/archives/000120.html
Comment by Margapantalones — 3/26/07 @ 11:23 pm
My wife left me for a mac, it was Bernie Mac but that’s aside the point, I still hate macs!!!!!!
Comment by depressingsteve — 3/27/07 @ 11:17 am
Now, I have a reason to buy more and more macs, yay!!!
Comment by csoh — 3/27/07 @ 12:40 pm
nobodie responded to “how to abuse a mac”
HELLO!!!
WAKE UP!
clarkinhimer
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 3/27/07 @ 3:33 pm
I have a mac and there is no link with them and global warming. Global warming is made up by windows loving Democrats who have nothing better to then blame the green part for all the worlds problem. The government and President Bush say its not real then its not real. Attack Iran!
Comment by Greedo909 — 3/29/07 @ 6:37 pm
I think that you sir are quite a bitch. :teeth:
Comment by Recipher — 3/29/07 @ 8:54 pm
I thought you were my friend bicth!
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 3/30/07 @ 10:32 am
Macs destroy friendships.
Comment by Recipher — 3/30/07 @ 10:41 am
Steve Jobs stole my hat.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 3/31/07 @ 12:21 pm
Mac Vs pc and… Commodore 64!????
Comment by Mac Hacker — 4/1/07 @ 10:26 am
Come on people… this is NOT a real opnion, it’s a joke! READ IT CAREFULLY. For those of you who really are Mac haters, I recommend checking out the Apple web site thoroughly. Then, go to your local Apple Store (genuine, not reseller) and take a test drive. If you don’t figure out real quick that Macs are quite simply the most superior computer using the most sophisticated OS to date… well, too bad. I’LL be happily cruising on my Mac, effortlessly pushing through my workflow and hobbies. ;o)
Comment by smack — 4/9/07 @ 2:18 am
hahaha this is great…at first i didnt notice the title of the website…i was reading this and i was thinking you have got to be kidding me?? lol this is crap i dont have a mac but i used one today at the apple store…and it connected to the internet, played music, and as far as i could tell didnt cause global warming lol…i thought the writer of this was retarded until i noticed the title…haha made my day…
Comment by brandon — 4/21/07 @ 6:35 pm
Glad to see you are still informing the public of the serious issues we all face, and telling us all how to think about them.
Comment by Trevor — 4/25/07 @ 7:21 pm
recipher is right… i tried to download an episode of “that’s so raven” from itunes on my apple 2e and it opened up some tv show called “oregon trail”! i’m so angry and confused!!! it just keeps getting worse. now itunes is informing me that clara was bitten by a snake, timmy got cholera and died, 2 of my oxen drowned in 3 feet of water, i’m out of axel’s and for some reason i shot 3,500 pounds of buffalo meat but could only carry back 34 pounds of it. stupid macs.
Comment by mortimer nova — 5/9/07 @ 4:34 pm
I own a laptop with windows XP , talk about crap (Linux made it better). I was given a MAC and I was hooked, the following 2 months I bought 4 more. Great OS. But I have to say I don’t like people telling me what I can and can’t do for software. So I am getting rid of the Mac’s and XP and buying IBM’s and installing Linux Debian (cause it rocks). XP OS sucks, Mac and their OS are great, IBM and Linux Rock
Comment by Mac — 5/9/07 @ 11:18 pm
Linux DID make XP better. Linux XP is by far the best operating system I’ve ever used. And I’ve used Windows 3.11 which is great.
Comment by Recipher — 5/10/07 @ 5:25 pm
im baaaaackkk!!!
i ve been so busy latly,ive had major problems with our family-
my sister has just died and so has my grandpa,cusin.
1 bro is in jail (again) and the other is runnin from the cops.
THEY WILL NEVER LEARN TO QUIT DRINKING! (ecept grampa)
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 5/12/07 @ 9:03 pm
HEY Mac!!!
little did we all know linux is a windows,it just has different looks.
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 5/12/07 @ 9:07 pm
almost as funny as the author’s parody of macs is how seriously so many people are taking it.
“I’M LISTENING TO MUSIC NOW!!!”
i love it
Comment by ur all losers — 5/17/07 @ 11:14 am
Long live Sun Unix!!! Real men don’t need whimpy little graphics anyway. All you need is a command line and vi. Write some scripts and solve all the worlds problems. Everyone wants pretty graphics. Ughhh!
Comment by JOATMON — 5/22/07 @ 9:50 pm
Hi Lads,
Thanks to the author,recipher…I`ve just got convinced to buy a brand new MacBook-as my Asus PC gave up after one year of useage.Probably the guy-who invented this topic-gets a lot of money for blackmarking Macs,anyway thx Dude.I don`t hesitate anymore.I am shure will never buy a PC again.Long live Mackintosh!and wipe out finally the monopolium of rubbish pcs…
Comment by crshr — 5/30/07 @ 9:55 pm
Diesel and Mac abuser-do the world a favour…..abuse yourself.
Comment by crshr — 5/31/07 @ 1:44 am
More people need to post. I’m enjoying this…
Comment by Mac Hacker — 6/2/07 @ 2:26 pm
Ever since I changed the domain from blog.bluedistortion.com to http://www.bluedamage.com, the hits from Google have never been as good. If I had time, I’d start link building again to get more hits.
Comment by Recipher — 6/2/07 @ 2:30 pm
OMG MACS - WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT…
I have to use a mac for school and just looking at them gives me a headache let alone actully using one of those peices of crap. Whoever came up with “Macs Are Crap” is the best person in the world and i agree with them 110%. One more thing, PC’s were the FIRST computer made, therefore BETTER…
Nomatter what you homosexual mac users say, PC’s ARE BETTER!!!!
Comment by pcs_rock — 6/12/07 @ 2:27 am
Macs are then PC’s… end of discussion. And Vista is a COMPLETE rip-off of Mac OS X. PC fanboys are so retarded. Haahahahaa… wowow, MAC IS THE BEST FOREVER
Comment by chuck — 6/16/07 @ 7:21 am
Elf butt sex while a Mac cries.
Comment by groinsniffer — 6/16/07 @ 6:23 pm
“Elf butt sex while a Mac cries.”
FTW!
Comment by Recipher — 6/18/07 @ 9:25 pm
Haha. It’s really amazing that the “Mac” users can find threads about how terrible their computers are, but can’t seem to manage to read the TITLE OF THE SITE ITSELF. Now, is there any more convenient ammunition to fire at their card-house infrastructure?
“MAC IS THE BEST FOREVER!!!”
Did mommy just buy you your first computer? Macs are best just like punk rock. Oh, shit, wait. Punk is DEAD.
In all seriousness, I use all three, Debian, XP, OSX. What’s the big fucking deal? Mac users seem to be just too whiny for me.
Comment by acb225 — 6/19/07 @ 10:13 pm
It’s like… just die already, you know? Fucking whiny Mac users.
Comment by Recipher — 6/20/07 @ 5:36 pm
i’m not gonna whine but i AM on a mac. sometimes pictures don’t show up but its the same on the pc side, yes, my mac runs windows too. music plays. the fucking updates never work, you should put that. uhmm. nobody’s laptop ever gets on the internet and mine always can. oh, and i couldn’t give a fuck less about global warming.
but aside from that, you guys rock anyway.
:]
Comment by katie — 7/3/07 @ 9:14 am
mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac suckss mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mac can suck my ass cause they shit in da hole that wat dey are
Comment by the turd — 7/5/07 @ 1:53 pm
fuck yall i hate this fuckin mother fuckin fuck! ass reapers….
Comment by douche — 7/7/07 @ 11:57 am
When XP came out, all its features were new, as was the interface and everything. That was six years ago.
A few years later, out comes Mac OS X, with features ‘claimed’ to be new and unique to the Mac, having already been on XP for some time.
It’s been six years now. Apple has released many new OS’s, still with the lame apps. Microsoft has released only one, it’s still the most popular, it’s still with the same old apps six years ago.
What does that say?
Comment by Aoran — 7/7/07 @ 6:14 pm
That Microsoft and Apple are the same company.
Comment by Recipher — 7/23/07 @ 9:44 pm
man I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but every single one of these comments isn’t true. first off macs do run windows! do your research before you write stuff. second why don’t you pick on the electrical companies before you pick on apple. third, why are you so critical of macs? you should try the all new leopard, it is ahead of Windows by far. name one thing vista can do that mac hasn’t had out for years. even the Wall Street Journal writes this. I’m not trying to make you upset or mad at me, I just am stating facts. Global Warming has been happening for milleniums.. how did Leif Erikson have livestock on greenland? it had to have been warmer then too. did they have electricity then? NO. don’t get me wrong, I used to have a pc. but now that I have a mac, I AM A TOTAL MAC FAN!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:17 am
oh yeah and whoever wrote that pc’s were the first computers made… that’s ridiculous! apple came out with the apple 2e, probably the most popular computer ever, (that was back in the old days too. The very first computer was the ENIAC, built back in World War II. microsoft came out in the 1990’s!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:23 am
Actually, macs were the first to actually have a GUI. That was the day when windows finally bought a photocopier and started using it.
Comment by Lomoco — 8/1/07 @ 11:21 am
“oh yeah and whoever wrote that pc’s were the first computers made… that’s ridiculous! apple came out with the apple 2e, probably the most popular computer ever, (that was back in the old days too. The very first computer was the ENIAC, built back in World War II. microsoft came out in the 1990’s!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:23 am”
Actually the apple I came out in 1977 and Microsoft came out just after apple did.
AND TO ALL YOU PEECEE FANS: ENJOY YOUR VISTA WITH ALL ITS SPYWARE FROM MICROSOFT!!!!
ALSO, HAVE FUN WITH TRUSTED COMPUTING!!!!!!!!!!
bitches
Comment by Mac Hacker — 8/11/07 @ 2:43 pm
Oops, looks like I scared everybody off
Comment by Mac Hacker — 9/19/07 @ 12:24 am
Apparently, Macs don’t suck anymore. *shrug*
Comment by Recipher — 9/19/07 @ 10:28 pm
“microsoft came out in the 1990’s!” Nope. Microsoft was founded in 1975 and Microsoft Windows was first released in 1985. Linux is better than Windows and Macs
Comment by Kyle — 9/20/07 @ 3:23 pm
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
Comment by toilet — 9/20/07 @ 5:30 pm
WHOEVER WROTE THIS ARTICLE DOESNT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS! MACS CAN PLAY MUSIC, IM LISTENIENG TO SOME WRITE NOW ON ITUNES! THIS SITE IS FUCKING STUPID
Comment by MACSRULE — 9/24/07 @ 11:18 am
Steve Jobs still won’t give me my hat. Even though his nuts are bigger than my house. And I got a big house.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 10/6/07 @ 11:05 pm
Raptor Jesus feels your pain.
Comment by Recipher — 10/7/07 @ 1:49 am
That is a very scary GIF
Comment by mbear12 — 10/8/07 @ 9:45 pm
right on man! Macs suck ass!
Comment by Rink — 11/18/07 @ 4:45 pm
SUck meh balls.
Comment by Ball Breath — 12/16/07 @ 10:59 am
macs are powerfull out of the box,you buy one you spend allot of money.
pcs are cheaper,you spend a few bucks upgrading it,it can be more powerful than the mac,plus you still have extra money.
macs cannot be beaten in looks though.
Comment by Dudes, get over it — 12/30/07 @ 12:20 am
its funny how people always over react when something they use is insulted.
pcs slow macs are slow thats all that matter in the end anyway.
Comment by your mother, tu madre — 1/9/08 @ 2:51 pm
another thing people like what they like get the hell of it
Comment by your mother, tu madre — 1/9/08 @ 2:54 pm
yes macs suck hell they suck hard im a big nerd and tada mac cant play hardly anything because of the insanly complacated right click control click WTF its supposed to be freakin simple tht is bullcrap no right click means good luck personalizing ur computer jackass
1 they are almost imposable to upgrade meaning in a few years u have to buy a whole new damn thing to stay up too date windows u can upgrade anytime u want
2 my high school we had to switch to a diffrent server and it took a damn week for it to start to atlease function improperly the pcs we had worked perfectly the first damn day
3 some people are lucky and the mac doesnt crash ive delt with a crapload of diffrent macs and atleast 3 a day crash so woop de freaking do no viruses but it still crashes more then windows
wow macs are getting better and there os is still crap im stuck with vista and it is still less frustration then 5 minutes and a peice of shit white box
there isnt much of a media diffrence both do the same thing but u can manage ur stuff better with a damn right click
macs have frustrated me soo fraking much i swear to god before i die im gunna buy 1 fill it with fireworks blow the crap out of it then shoot all the little remnants with a 12 gauge till my arm is broken and when im in the hospital for a broken shoulder ill just smile and think YEARS OF ANGER RELEASES ahhhh its was worth it
for short
macs
pros
sometimes cheaper
no viruses
media is a bit better
cons
viruses
constant crashing
hard to upgrade
have to contantly buy new macs to stay up to date
NO FUCK RIGHT CLICK
suprisingly complex for being soo simple
Comment by dav — 1/9/08 @ 5:14 pm
another thing global warming is happening idiots u cant rely on george w bush he is a notable dumbass ever seen a confrence with im OMG he can barely speak english iraqi “were is gahndi?”
GWB “well gahndi is dead” OMG u dipshit of course he dead the damn iraqi ment where is the guy who will bring us together and promote peace
if u belive him then u moght as well belive the”procrastionaters unite tomorrow ” shirt altho we should invade afganastan not iran not iraq
if stop using macs means delaying global warming than woo hoo
also asprin wont be needed anymore
VISTA SUCKS
ALL MACS SUCK
LINUX IS OK
XP IS OK
Comment by dav — 1/9/08 @ 5:28 pm
All of the info in this article is just plain flat out wrong. Simply wrong. You can dual boot, with boot camp. You can also virtualize with Parallels, or VMWare fusion. Any of these solutions allow you to install ANY OS on a mac. You don’t even need boot camp. All boot camp does is create a windows compatible partition. Also, there are no viruses because no one has programmed them. You CAN right click. That is one of the stupidest and most insipid myths that I have heard about macs. About the music, don’t we all remember who created iTunes? Apple. Apple is the company who created the mac, a computer. Mac is not an acronym. Mac is not a company. THE mac is a computer. Apple is a company. Speaking of not being able to play music, iTunes does not work on 64 bit vista. How ironic is that?
To the writer of this article and all of the illiterate 11 year olds that commented on this: Don’t be an idiot. Learn spelling and punctuation. Do research.
Comment by debunker — 1/29/08 @ 3:08 pm
UR WEBSITE IS FUCKING BULLSHIT, I CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC JUST FIND ON MY MAC
Comment by FUCKYOU — 2/6/08 @ 4:29 pm
Another “argument” that has no evidence or facts. Firstly, ITUNES IS MADE MY APPLE IDIOT!
Second, Al gores computer choice is not going to lose him an election.
Thirdly, You can now run ALL windows software with a mac
Comment by Steve — 2/9/08 @ 4:52 pm
Al gore is a fuckin jackass arrogant pig. He preaches about the enviroment while he lives in his billion dollar home, what a fucking piece of shit i hate him.
Comment by Suck it — 2/18/08 @ 9:59 am
What the hell? This wasn’t even funny, just proves that windoze users that hate mac have no actual reasons why they hate it, they are just stupid bastards.
Comment by Wow... — 2/19/08 @ 8:01 pm
I HAVE MY REASONS YOU SOME OF A BITCH, MAC COMPUTERS ARE DESTROYING AMERICA
Comment by Recipher — 2/19/08 @ 8:29 pm
I love it… I can’t stop reading!!!
Comment by Steve — 2/20/08 @ 4:00 am
Hello this is Steve Jobes i still plan to make a bunch of overpriced crummy products with a small i in front of them and will never stop. I am saving my virginity for the right woman or an atractive horny iSexbot (releasing november ‘09) I will never be stopped on my lame march to the “liberation” of the world from dependency on pcs. my computers will stay damn near impossible to upgrade and have no reason to right click. god help you if you try to put music on your iPod from anywhere besides iTunes. also look for our new line of vacuum cleaners iSuck
Love douchebag
Comment by Steve jobes — 3/8/08 @ 7:09 am
I bought a new hat, and this time I will NOT let Steve Jobs borrow it. Dammit.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 5/4/08 @ 1:54 pm