The Three Main Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 2)
Why are people still sending us hate mail telling us Macs are better than PCs? I’m back to beat the dead horse with three MORE reasons why Macs suck. As Macs have slowly infiltrated my place of residence, clogging the intranet tubes like Steve Job’s pubic hair in the sink, I’ve become pissed beyond belief. I think Macs suck hard and here are more reasons to not buy one and avoid them at all costs.
You still can’t run Windows Millennium XP on Mac hardware, or any other awesome Microsoft products. Apple hasn’t put out a good operating system since Apple DOS 3.3 and that’s a fact. In an age where I can run Windows Millennium XP alongside Windows 95, why can’t I dual boot yet on a Mac? It is because the snobby, pretentious marketing department at Apple realizes Mac OS 9 will never live up to any Microsoft products. It doesn’t even have Notepad! What kind of operating system doesn’t have that? If I didn’t need notepad, I would run a Linux.
Secondly, Macs cause Global Warming. Did you see the documentary with Al Gore? Did you notice that laptop that he is using? Hypocrisy at its best. If Macs didn’t have that stupid Apple light on all of the backs of their laptops, it would result in 20 billion tons less carbon dioxide pollution in as little as 15 minutes. While you’re sitting on forums bitching about your global warmings and the 9/11 conspiracies, Windows 95 like me are users are lowering their carbon imprint. It’s safe to say, if Al Gore didn’t use a Mac he might have won the election in 2000.
The third reason why Macs suck is the fact that they can’t play music. Not even Yanni. Shut up, you know that dude is bad ass on the dual piano. Last Thursday, everyone at our office decided we would try and install iTunes on our Powerbooks. Big mistake. The Mac starting quacking and wouldn’t stop. We tried to right click but realized that there was no way to do that. So we tried left clicking, but there is no left click either. Only a middle click. And the click doesn’t even work unless you hold down the clubs button. What is with that anyway?! I want to listen to Air Supply, not play Canasta!
In conclusions, I still stand by my original argument that PCs are way better than Macs. Even the pcPhone is way better than the over-hyped, lame ass iPhone. I would much rather run AOL on my Dell Powerbook than ever use a Mac product ever again. While we do appreciate the free gifts to test out Macs, we are just throwing them right in the trash where they belong.
Continued from The Three Reasons Why Macs Suck (Part 1).
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FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Mac Hacker — 3/26/07 @ 2:05 pm
THis is bullshit! the writer of this doesnt no what he is talking about! Macs CAN PLAY MUSIC I”M LISTENING TO MUSIC NOW.
Comment by MacDude — 3/26/07 @ 2:21 pm
bwahahaha… air supply reference = rate up! i gott say, i feel as strongly about this as you do. the fact of the matter is, macs are made by witches. the money they make off of mac sales is how they keep their brooms fueled to fly around and kidnap babies for their witches brew. if people keep buying macs, more babies are going to to be turned into stew. won’t somebody think about the children?!
Comment by mortimer nova — 3/26/07 @ 3:28 pm
Relax guys, you should try scrolling up to the top of the page and reading the name and title of the site: “Fake news. Distorted satire. Sexy llamas”.
Obviously the author was pulling a #2 on this one, probably just to torque-off the Mac fanboys**.
** I own three Macs myself, and found this very funny!
Comment by LinuxUser — 3/26/07 @ 3:35 pm
i like big macs!
Comment by mortimer nova — 3/26/07 @ 5:58 pm
Agreed. Macs are just garbage, as seen here:
http://www.vitaluna.net/archives/000120.html
Comment by Margapantalones — 3/26/07 @ 11:23 pm
My wife left me for a mac, it was Bernie Mac but that’s aside the point, I still hate macs!!!!!!
Comment by depressingsteve — 3/27/07 @ 11:17 am
Now, I have a reason to buy more and more macs, yay!!!
Comment by csoh — 3/27/07 @ 12:40 pm
nobodie responded to “how to abuse a mac”
HELLO!!!
WAKE UP!
clarkinhimer
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 3/27/07 @ 3:33 pm
I have a mac and there is no link with them and global warming. Global warming is made up by windows loving Democrats who have nothing better to then blame the green part for all the worlds problem. The government and President Bush say its not real then its not real. Attack Iran!
Comment by Greedo909 — 3/29/07 @ 6:37 pm
I think that you sir are quite a bitch. :teeth:
Comment by Recipher — 3/29/07 @ 8:54 pm
I thought you were my friend bicth!
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 3/30/07 @ 10:32 am
Macs destroy friendships.
Comment by Recipher — 3/30/07 @ 10:41 am
Steve Jobs stole my hat.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 3/31/07 @ 12:21 pm
Mac Vs pc and… Commodore 64!????
Comment by Mac Hacker — 4/1/07 @ 10:26 am
Come on people… this is NOT a real opnion, it’s a joke! READ IT CAREFULLY. For those of you who really are Mac haters, I recommend checking out the Apple web site thoroughly. Then, go to your local Apple Store (genuine, not reseller) and take a test drive. If you don’t figure out real quick that Macs are quite simply the most superior computer using the most sophisticated OS to date… well, too bad. I’LL be happily cruising on my Mac, effortlessly pushing through my workflow and hobbies. ;o)
Comment by smack — 4/9/07 @ 2:18 am
hahaha this is great…at first i didnt notice the title of the website…i was reading this and i was thinking you have got to be kidding me?? lol this is crap i dont have a mac but i used one today at the apple store…and it connected to the internet, played music, and as far as i could tell didnt cause global warming lol…i thought the writer of this was retarded until i noticed the title…haha made my day…
Comment by brandon — 4/21/07 @ 6:35 pm
Glad to see you are still informing the public of the serious issues we all face, and telling us all how to think about them.
Comment by Trevor — 4/25/07 @ 7:21 pm
recipher is right… i tried to download an episode of “that’s so raven” from itunes on my apple 2e and it opened up some tv show called “oregon trail”! i’m so angry and confused!!! it just keeps getting worse. now itunes is informing me that clara was bitten by a snake, timmy got cholera and died, 2 of my oxen drowned in 3 feet of water, i’m out of axel’s and for some reason i shot 3,500 pounds of buffalo meat but could only carry back 34 pounds of it. stupid macs.
Comment by mortimer nova — 5/9/07 @ 4:34 pm
I own a laptop with windows XP , talk about crap (Linux made it better). I was given a MAC and I was hooked, the following 2 months I bought 4 more. Great OS. But I have to say I don’t like people telling me what I can and can’t do for software. So I am getting rid of the Mac’s and XP and buying IBM’s and installing Linux Debian (cause it rocks). XP OS sucks, Mac and their OS are great, IBM and Linux Rock
Comment by Mac — 5/9/07 @ 11:18 pm
Linux DID make XP better. Linux XP is by far the best operating system I’ve ever used. And I’ve used Windows 3.11 which is great.
Comment by Recipher — 5/10/07 @ 5:25 pm
im baaaaackkk!!!
i ve been so busy latly,ive had major problems with our family-
my sister has just died and so has my grandpa,cusin.
1 bro is in jail (again) and the other is runnin from the cops.
THEY WILL NEVER LEARN TO QUIT DRINKING! (ecept grampa)
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 5/12/07 @ 9:03 pm
HEY Mac!!!
little did we all know linux is a windows,it just has different looks.
Comment by deisel and mac abuser — 5/12/07 @ 9:07 pm
almost as funny as the author’s parody of macs is how seriously so many people are taking it.
“I’M LISTENING TO MUSIC NOW!!!”
i love it
Comment by ur all losers — 5/17/07 @ 11:14 am
Long live Sun Unix!!! Real men don’t need whimpy little graphics anyway. All you need is a command line and vi. Write some scripts and solve all the worlds problems. Everyone wants pretty graphics. Ughhh!
Comment by JOATMON — 5/22/07 @ 9:50 pm
Hi Lads,
Thanks to the author,recipher…I`ve just got convinced to buy a brand new MacBook-as my Asus PC gave up after one year of useage.Probably the guy-who invented this topic-gets a lot of money for blackmarking Macs,anyway thx Dude.I don`t hesitate anymore.I am shure will never buy a PC again.Long live Mackintosh!and wipe out finally the monopolium of rubbish pcs…
Comment by crshr — 5/30/07 @ 9:55 pm
Diesel and Mac abuser-do the world a favour…..abuse yourself.
Comment by crshr — 5/31/07 @ 1:44 am
More people need to post. I’m enjoying this…
Comment by Mac Hacker — 6/2/07 @ 2:26 pm
Ever since I changed the domain from blog.bluedistortion.com to http://www.bluedamage.com, the hits from Google have never been as good. If I had time, I’d start link building again to get more hits.
Comment by Recipher — 6/2/07 @ 2:30 pm
OMG MACS – WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT…
I have to use a mac for school and just looking at them gives me a headache let alone actully using one of those peices of crap. Whoever came up with “Macs Are Crap” is the best person in the world and i agree with them 110%. One more thing, PC’s were the FIRST computer made, therefore BETTER…
Nomatter what you homosexual mac users say, PC’s ARE BETTER!!!!
Comment by pcs_rock — 6/12/07 @ 2:27 am
Macs are then PC’s… end of discussion. And Vista is a COMPLETE rip-off of Mac OS X. PC fanboys are so retarded. Haahahahaa… wowow, MAC IS THE BEST FOREVER
Comment by chuck — 6/16/07 @ 7:21 am
Elf butt sex while a Mac cries.
Comment by groinsniffer — 6/16/07 @ 6:23 pm
“Elf butt sex while a Mac cries.”
FTW!
Comment by Recipher — 6/18/07 @ 9:25 pm
Haha. It’s really amazing that the “Mac” users can find threads about how terrible their computers are, but can’t seem to manage to read the TITLE OF THE SITE ITSELF. Now, is there any more convenient ammunition to fire at their card-house infrastructure?
“MAC IS THE BEST FOREVER!!!”
Did mommy just buy you your first computer? Macs are best just like punk rock. Oh, shit, wait. Punk is DEAD.
In all seriousness, I use all three, Debian, XP, OSX. What’s the big fucking deal? Mac users seem to be just too whiny for me.
Comment by acb225 — 6/19/07 @ 10:13 pm
It’s like… just die already, you know? Fucking whiny Mac users.
Comment by Recipher — 6/20/07 @ 5:36 pm
i’m not gonna whine but i AM on a mac. sometimes pictures don’t show up but its the same on the pc side, yes, my mac runs windows too. music plays. the fucking updates never work, you should put that. uhmm. nobody’s laptop ever gets on the internet and mine always can. oh, and i couldn’t give a fuck less about global warming.
but aside from that, you guys rock anyway.
:]
Comment by katie — 7/3/07 @ 9:14 am
mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac suckss mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks mac sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mac can suck my ass cause they shit in da hole that wat dey are
Comment by the turd — 7/5/07 @ 1:53 pm
fuck yall i hate this fuckin mother fuckin fuck! ass reapers….
Comment by douche — 7/7/07 @ 11:57 am
When XP came out, all its features were new, as was the interface and everything. That was six years ago.
A few years later, out comes Mac OS X, with features ‘claimed’ to be new and unique to the Mac, having already been on XP for some time.
It’s been six years now. Apple has released many new OS’s, still with the lame apps. Microsoft has released only one, it’s still the most popular, it’s still with the same old apps six years ago.
What does that say?
Comment by Aoran — 7/7/07 @ 6:14 pm
That Microsoft and Apple are the same company.
Comment by Recipher — 7/23/07 @ 9:44 pm
man I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but every single one of these comments isn’t true. first off macs do run windows! do your research before you write stuff. second why don’t you pick on the electrical companies before you pick on apple. third, why are you so critical of macs? you should try the all new leopard, it is ahead of Windows by far. name one thing vista can do that mac hasn’t had out for years. even the Wall Street Journal writes this. I’m not trying to make you upset or mad at me, I just am stating facts. Global Warming has been happening for milleniums.. how did Leif Erikson have livestock on greenland? it had to have been warmer then too. did they have electricity then? NO. don’t get me wrong, I used to have a pc. but now that I have a mac, I AM A TOTAL MAC FAN!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:17 am
oh yeah and whoever wrote that pc’s were the first computers made… that’s ridiculous! apple came out with the apple 2e, probably the most popular computer ever, (that was back in the old days too. The very first computer was the ENIAC, built back in World War II. microsoft came out in the 1990’s!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:23 am
Actually, macs were the first to actually have a GUI. That was the day when windows finally bought a photocopier and started using it.
Comment by Lomoco — 8/1/07 @ 11:21 am
“oh yeah and whoever wrote that pc’s were the first computers made… that’s ridiculous! apple came out with the apple 2e, probably the most popular computer ever, (that was back in the old days too. The very first computer was the ENIAC, built back in World War II. microsoft came out in the 1990’s!
Comment by Daniel — 7/30/07 @ 12:23 am”
Actually the apple I came out in 1977 and Microsoft came out just after apple did.
AND TO ALL YOU PEECEE FANS: ENJOY YOUR VISTA WITH ALL ITS SPYWARE FROM MICROSOFT!!!!
ALSO, HAVE FUN WITH TRUSTED COMPUTING!!!!!!!!!!
bitches
Comment by Mac Hacker — 8/11/07 @ 2:43 pm
Oops, looks like I scared everybody off
Comment by Mac Hacker — 9/19/07 @ 12:24 am
Apparently, Macs don’t suck anymore. *shrug*
Comment by Recipher — 9/19/07 @ 10:28 pm
“microsoft came out in the 1990’s!” Nope. Microsoft was founded in 1975 and Microsoft Windows was first released in 1985. Linux is better than Windows and Macs
Comment by Kyle — 9/20/07 @ 3:23 pm
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
so a goat walks into a bar and asks who wants to butt hump 10 lame drunk mac users raise their hand.
Comment by toilet — 9/20/07 @ 5:30 pm
WHOEVER WROTE THIS ARTICLE DOESNT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS! MACS CAN PLAY MUSIC, IM LISTENIENG TO SOME WRITE NOW ON ITUNES! THIS SITE IS FUCKING STUPID
Comment by MACSRULE — 9/24/07 @ 11:18 am
Steve Jobs still won’t give me my hat. Even though his nuts are bigger than my house. And I got a big house.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 10/6/07 @ 11:05 pm
Raptor Jesus feels your pain.
Comment by Recipher — 10/7/07 @ 1:49 am
That is a very scary GIF
Comment by mbear12 — 10/8/07 @ 9:45 pm
right on man! Macs suck ass!
Comment by Rink — 11/18/07 @ 4:45 pm
SUck meh balls.
Comment by Ball Breath — 12/16/07 @ 10:59 am
macs are powerfull out of the box,you buy one you spend allot of money.
pcs are cheaper,you spend a few bucks upgrading it,it can be more powerful than the mac,plus you still have extra money.
macs cannot be beaten in looks though.
Comment by Dudes, get over it — 12/30/07 @ 12:20 am
its funny how people always over react when something they use is insulted.
pcs slow macs are slow thats all that matter in the end anyway.
Comment by your mother, tu madre — 1/9/08 @ 2:51 pm
another thing people like what they like get the hell of it
Comment by your mother, tu madre — 1/9/08 @ 2:54 pm
yes macs suck hell they suck hard im a big nerd and tada mac cant play hardly anything because of the insanly complacated right click control click WTF its supposed to be freakin simple tht is bullcrap no right click means good luck personalizing ur computer jackass
1 they are almost imposable to upgrade meaning in a few years u have to buy a whole new damn thing to stay up too date windows u can upgrade anytime u want
2 my high school we had to switch to a diffrent server and it took a damn week for it to start to atlease function improperly the pcs we had worked perfectly the first damn day
3 some people are lucky and the mac doesnt crash ive delt with a crapload of diffrent macs and atleast 3 a day crash so woop de freaking do no viruses but it still crashes more then windows
wow macs are getting better and there os is still crap im stuck with vista and it is still less frustration then 5 minutes and a peice of shit white box
there isnt much of a media diffrence both do the same thing but u can manage ur stuff better with a damn right click
macs have frustrated me soo fraking much i swear to god before i die im gunna buy 1 fill it with fireworks blow the crap out of it then shoot all the little remnants with a 12 gauge till my arm is broken and when im in the hospital for a broken shoulder ill just smile and think YEARS OF ANGER RELEASES ahhhh its was worth it
for short
macs
pros
sometimes cheaper
no viruses
media is a bit better
cons
viruses
constant crashing
hard to upgrade
have to contantly buy new macs to stay up to date
NO FUCK RIGHT CLICK
suprisingly complex for being soo simple
Comment by dav — 1/9/08 @ 5:14 pm
another thing global warming is happening idiots u cant rely on george w bush he is a notable dumbass ever seen a confrence with im OMG he can barely speak english iraqi “were is gahndi?”
GWB “well gahndi is dead” OMG u dipshit of course he dead the damn iraqi ment where is the guy who will bring us together and promote peace
if u belive him then u moght as well belive the”procrastionaters unite tomorrow ” shirt altho we should invade afganastan not iran not iraq
if stop using macs means delaying global warming than woo hoo
also asprin wont be needed anymore
VISTA SUCKS
ALL MACS SUCK
LINUX IS OK
XP IS OK
Comment by dav — 1/9/08 @ 5:28 pm
All of the info in this article is just plain flat out wrong. Simply wrong. You can dual boot, with boot camp. You can also virtualize with Parallels, or VMWare fusion. Any of these solutions allow you to install ANY OS on a mac. You don’t even need boot camp. All boot camp does is create a windows compatible partition. Also, there are no viruses because no one has programmed them. You CAN right click. That is one of the stupidest and most insipid myths that I have heard about macs. About the music, don’t we all remember who created iTunes? Apple. Apple is the company who created the mac, a computer. Mac is not an acronym. Mac is not a company. THE mac is a computer. Apple is a company. Speaking of not being able to play music, iTunes does not work on 64 bit vista. How ironic is that?
To the writer of this article and all of the illiterate 11 year olds that commented on this: Don’t be an idiot. Learn spelling and punctuation. Do research.
Comment by debunker — 1/29/08 @ 3:08 pm
UR WEBSITE IS FUCKING BULLSHIT, I CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC JUST FIND ON MY MAC
Comment by FUCKYOU — 2/6/08 @ 4:29 pm
Another “argument” that has no evidence or facts. Firstly, ITUNES IS MADE MY APPLE IDIOT!
Second, Al gores computer choice is not going to lose him an election.
Thirdly, You can now run ALL windows software with a mac
Comment by Steve — 2/9/08 @ 4:52 pm
Al gore is a fuckin jackass arrogant pig. He preaches about the enviroment while he lives in his billion dollar home, what a fucking piece of shit i hate him.
Comment by Suck it — 2/18/08 @ 9:59 am
What the hell? This wasn’t even funny, just proves that windoze users that hate mac have no actual reasons why they hate it, they are just stupid bastards.
Comment by Wow... — 2/19/08 @ 8:01 pm
I HAVE MY REASONS YOU SOME OF A BITCH, MAC COMPUTERS ARE DESTROYING AMERICA
Comment by Recipher — 2/19/08 @ 8:29 pm
I love it… I can’t stop reading!!!
Comment by Steve — 2/20/08 @ 4:00 am
Hello this is Steve Jobes i still plan to make a bunch of overpriced crummy products with a small i in front of them and will never stop. I am saving my virginity for the right woman or an atractive horny iSexbot (releasing november ‘09) I will never be stopped on my lame march to the “liberation” of the world from dependency on pcs. my computers will stay damn near impossible to upgrade and have no reason to right click. god help you if you try to put music on your iPod from anywhere besides iTunes. also look for our new line of vacuum cleaners iSuck
Love douchebag
Comment by Steve jobes — 3/8/08 @ 7:09 am
I bought a new hat, and this time I will NOT let Steve Jobs borrow it. Dammit.
Comment by Fat Kid at McDonalds — 5/4/08 @ 1:54 pm
i hate macs, but your arguments are retarded and unintelligent, you do the PC side no good.
Comment by bob — 5/19/08 @ 10:12 am
Ipods suck too. there satanic Mind control devices made by the anti christ steve jobs. check it out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_psoOVKw10
Comment by Todd — 5/27/08 @ 1:50 am
I see words come out of your keyboard, but all I read makes no sense at all. I have no idea what your Windows Millennium XP thing is, but dual-booting CAN be done on a Mac. Just not at the time you wrote this. Point taken, point gone. And Apple does a lot to save energy on their computers, although if they still have that apple light thing you talk about, they should stop. And who needs notepad when you get Textedit, which is indisputably better! So that’s just two halfs of a point. At best, you have just one thing wrong. That is all.
Comment by Bread — 6/1/08 @ 11:20 am
So…umm….looks like Steve Jobs still hasn’t changed his shirt. Holy shit, that guy now has stuff GROWING under his armpits.
Oh, and did you notice the possible anagrams of Steve Jobs’ name?
“be jet, Voss”
“Jove’s best”
By jove! Voss, as everyone knows, is the Assyrian god of miscreants and suckers.
There is also the anagram
“be vet, Joss”
…but Joss doesn’t want to be a vet. Too bad.
Comment by P — 6/5/08 @ 4:28 pm
..shit, I got off topic.
So I wanted to point out some other problems with Appl’s
so-called “technology”.
First, it sucks. Like, real bad.
Second, this article says a lot: http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/01/11/the-apple-iphone-sucks/
To quote: “Apple really doesn’t rock at all.”
Yeah.
Finally, all Appls come preloaded with child pornography. Which kinda sucks, unless you’re into that sort of thing. But of course you are…because you bought a Mac!
That’s just disgusting…I hope you burn in hell.
Comment by P — 6/5/08 @ 4:32 pm
Macs do suck hard and there’s no stopping them. Nothing they can do will ever bring them to the level that PC’s have achieved because PC’s keep getting better all the time and it’s easy to make them better! Mac has gone through many OS’s in the time XP has been a strong OS. All Crapple and Macintrash products need to GO AWAY! Yes, they are not environmentally sound at all. Didn’t you idiots who praise the iphone see the report on the toxic glue and such inside the iphone, and you have to send it in for a battery change?!?! That’s messed up.
Comment by Dugal Karduth — 6/7/08 @ 2:26 am
My iPhone is powered by my love for Journey. Therefore I have no need to send it in for a battery change.
Comment by Fat Kid At McDonalds — 6/14/08 @ 11:26 pm
macs do suck. im writing this comment with a mac in my moms job lol. fuck macs
Comment by efafadgadzdged — 6/19/08 @ 2:52 pm
Hey P, I just check my mac for CP and couldn’t find any. This is very disappointing. Oh well, I can always fire up the old peecee in the corner and get all the porn I want just by plugging it in to the internets.
Comment by Mac Hacker — 7/9/08 @ 1:24 pm
McHacker — First off, I love the handle. I’m looking forward the the sandwich to go with those golden fries and a coke.
Second, I must say you’re 100% correct, the PC can get child porn by connecting to the information superweb. The point I was trying to make is that it’s optional whereas with the Mac, it’s preloaded. I’m certain you tried your durndest to find those files but they’re in a hidden system folder called “temp” and since your mouse comes with only one button, you can’t right-click on it to unhide it or make it accessible.
The thing is, that folder wasn’t really meant for you anyways. It’s a Steve Jobs control mechanism — the iGotyoubyyourballs ™ technology — which he uses to ensure that no one strays from “the flock”. As long as you stay true to the holy high one atop mount avarice, you’ll be fine and the pr0n stays where it is. However, if you so much as *touch* another computer or OS…
It’s a brilliant strategy and it keeps Apls’ profits buoyant despite the ever-increasing schlock they keep ramming down your gaping, slack-jaw-propped neck holes. And who am I to deny you your dreams of being Jobs’ personal cahones massager if that kinda thing floats your boat. As the Eurythmics once put it…”Jobs just wants to abuse you, you just want to be abused.”
Comment by P — 8/6/08 @ 3:12 pm
Apl: The wide-open, crab-ridden, syphilitic, abscessed hole of computing: http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/08/06/Apple_gets_bruised_in_vulnerability_report_1.html
Don’t take this out of context, I know that “disclosure” isn’t the same as being vulnerable. This is just an example of Apl having its legs spread open and showing the world the festering, mangy crotch of its own software for the first time ever. See what happens when you hop into bed with Stevie? Euch…
Comment by P — 8/6/08 @ 3:20 pm
My Mac sits happily on a network with two other macs and a PC. I don’t use the PC much because pretty much the second I plug it into the internet I get 5 TB of porn automatically downloaded to it. Also, I don’t need a second button to open the contextual menu on a mac. I use what’s called a Control Click. I hold down a button called the control key while simultaneously clicking the mouse button. I can understand how hard it could be to do for someone who is used to clicking a whole separate button to do so.
Comment by Mac Hacker — 9/9/08 @ 3:16 pm
McHacker,
You make it sound like 5 tubs of pr0n is a bad thing. It’s the kiddie stuff that gets my panties in a bunch…hence the hate-on for the Mac. Also, Jobs is an asshole…and he STILL hasn’t changed his turtleneck or jeans. He must be absolutely rancid at this point. Gross.
Ya ya…I know all about how the Mac works and the cross-over, double-knotted-finger-curl-click combo you gotta do to get anything done. I had the hellish span of a year to spend with one so me and the dark lord got acquainted all too well. That’s why I keep saying how badly Macs suck balls.
But I don’t want to say that they’re entirely bad. On the one hand, they make great doorstops and paperweights. Also, I guess they’re like the Yin to the PC Yang..you gotta know what’s bad (Mac) so that you know how good you really got it (PC).
I’m afraid that no simplistic commercial with a pure white background (so you don’t get confused), psychotic nursery music (to lull you into your natural childlike state of susceptibility), or incredibly incorrect and oversimplified personifications of computers (‘cuz you can’t wrap your head around this new-fangled gadgetry), will sway me away from the fact that your Mac (or any Apl iAnything for that matter) is highly overpriced, underwhelming, and basically a beacon of your incessant stupidity to all onlookers. It says: “I’m ignorant and I don’t care. Rob me and abuse me…I’ll come begging for more.” Seriously, if you’re into that, send me $1500 and I’ll drop by your place and punch you in the back of your head; seriously, no bother.
Comment by P — 9/11/08 @ 4:56 pm
I left my beautiful wife of 4 years for a Mac. That was the worst decision of my life. After it drugged me rapped me a number of times, he finally left me, he took all my money and savings. After a hard day at work a few weeks later, I decided to get a drink at a local pub, where upon leaving, all his friends attacked me in the alley and left me for dead. As I lay there in my puddle of sweat, tears, and blood, it spit a bunch of seeds at me, cursed me, and gave me one finishing swift kick in the happy zone, which is my face.
That was the last of my experience with Mac. I still fear for my life. This was really hard to talk about, and I hope you all can understand where I am coming from.
Don’t leave to go to a Mac…this story is accurate and true!!!
(Disclaimer: This story is fictional and should not be understood as accurate. Your next computer purchase should not be based upon this story.)
Comment by Macropolis — 9/18/08 @ 11:36 am
Here are the three reasons you provided, quote:
“You still can’t run Windows Millennium XP on Mac hardware”
“Macs cause Global Warming.”
“they can’t play music”
hmm. . . .
Does someone need an update, or a reality check?
Comment by Yelonde — 10/19/08 @ 10:22 pm
This guy is a pc retard, mac’s are making pc obsolete, only retards still use pc.
Comment by noname — 10/30/08 @ 3:10 pm
Yelonde, if that is your real name, I think that you’re the one living outside the boundaries of reality. First of all…cool, what kinda drugs did you take and where do I buy them?
Secondly, on each of the points…
1. Can’t run Windows ME XP on Mac. That’s true. Have you ever tried it? The thing catches on fire. Bad scene, man.
2. Macs cause global warming: 1984 is when the first Mac came out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macintosh). That’s roughly the same time that the earth’s temperatures started to rise beyond historically cyclical levels (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f4/Instrumental_Temperature_Record.png).
BAM! Now what, sucker?
3. They can’t play music. Alright, that’s not entirely correct. Their built-in speaker is capable of producing a variety of sounds which some may interpret as “music”. Not me, but that’s a matter of taste. I guess I half give that one to you. Half.
Comment by P — 11/4/08 @ 5:44 pm
..oh, and Orwell’s novel isn’t set in 1984 for nothing. Think about it!
Comment by P — 11/4/08 @ 5:46 pm
Macropolis, I fail to see the moral in your fictional story. Is it that you allowed a computer to rape you? You were probably leading it on. You sicken me.
Comment by P — 11/4/08 @ 5:57 pm
This such great satire; love it! Keep up the great work.
Typed on a Mac.
Comment by Nathan — 11/28/08 @ 11:35 pm
So you mac retards think you are pretty cool dont you. Sitting in the cafe typeing away, looking like a bunch of fruits while watching youtube videos of other fags tossing they fruit around. My point, anyone on that sits there and trys to tell me that a mac can out preform a PC should just go kill themselves. If macs where better then there would be no disscusion, people would exept it and move on; however, that is not the case and this just further strengthens the fact that macs are SHIT. For fuck sakes Steve jobs uses and PC and i bet he still wishes he was Bill Gates, you know that guy from Microsoft also the richest man in the world. Woops dont tell little old Steve, he might cry again.
WRITTEN ON A PC……for nathan the DOUCHE
Comment by I kill mac users for fun — 12/29/08 @ 6:28 pm
It’s not satire, it’s established fact:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary
Comment by P — 1/14/09 @ 1:08 pm
Okay… Macs just suck.
1. Bad hardware. Macs have terrible hardware for the price. I mean, who wants to spend $80.00 on one 1 GB stick of MAC RAM?
2. You can’t customize your Mac. Its hard as hell to build a Mac, and when you buy a Mac, good luck upgrading it. Just throw it away and buy a new one, a better one.
3. Macs don’t run programs. That’s right. Macs do not run most software. Good luck playing any PC games on a Mac. Also, for you Mac users, how’s playing Minesweeper with one mouse button?
4. Pain-in-the-ass OS. The only reason the Mac OS is appealing to people is because they know too little about computers. Mac OS is designed for people who wan’t so few options that they won’t get confused. And while changing a setting on a PC takes an experienced user an extra thirty seconds, at least they have that option.
5. Expensive shit. Yes, Mac’s shit is expensive. Who actually wants to pay $50 for a Mac mouse with ONE FUCKING MOUSE BUTTON?? And good luck using your Mac with another monitor. You will either have to pay twice the money for one of Apple’s monitors, or you will have to dish out too much money for an adapter so you can use any monitor. Have fun.
6. No options. There are not enough options on a Mac. That is why some people like the OS so much; it is fucking easy. Well, let me tell you, Mac OS may be easy, but there are so many limitations to it, that any business that doesn’t specialize in video editing would be completely out of its mind to use them.
Macs are good for music and video editing. (And sometimes graphic editing.)
Running on the PC I built myself:
3.1 GHz Dual Core Processor (AMD)
4 GB RAM (Corsair 2×2GB)
Motherboard supports up to 8 GB RAM (ASUS)
Graphics card w/ 1 GB dedicated VideoRAM (NVIDIA)
500GB HDD
Windows XP Professional Media Center Edition (Service Pack 2)
The computer cost me around $600 to build, and an iMac that would cost $1,200 is almost half as good.
The most powerful iMac, which runs $2,200.00, has:
Almost as much processing power
Half the RAM
Same HDD (500 GB)
Half the VideoRAM
You MAC users can continue to argue that your OS is just great compared to Windows’s. But I’ll stick with my games, my programs, and my freedom.
Comment by AlphaGamma — 1/14/09 @ 9:09 pm
Oh yeah? Well Bill Gates raises mosquitoes for fun.
“Malaria is spread by mosquitoes,” Gates said while opening a jar onstage at a gathering known to attract technology kings, politicians, and Hollywood stars.
“I brought some. Here I’ll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090205/ts_alt_afp/usitinternethealthfinancegates
Comment by Mac Hacker — 2/6/09 @ 2:43 am
“Macs cant play music” What a bunch of bull.
Hell, back in 87, they were recording their own records.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_S7IgNDIWI
Comment by Mac Hacker — 4/8/09 @ 12:55 pm
“Mac Hacker” is an oxymoron.
Comment by Dan — 5/26/09 @ 7:36 pm
Malaria, Mosquitos, Mac….all start with “M”. Coincidence? I think not! And don’t even get me started on McDonalds or Micky Mouse. Walmart tries to hide it’s evil little “m”, but I see it. It is there! What? PC’s are made by Microsoft? Dang…I thought it was Syclesauce…
Comment by monkey7or8 — 6/4/09 @ 4:24 pm
Who knew that an article about frollicking, sexy llamas could be so inflamatory. I thought everyone loved llamas and maybe, just maybe knew what “fake” or “satire” meant. I am afraid for the children and their limited vocabularies gleaned from mashing at their keyboards and deciding that “lffslj” or “rmflo” actually means something. So sad…so sad…
Comment by monkey7or8 — 6/4/09 @ 4:32 pm
you are obviously somebody that doesn’t work in either graphic design or sound/music, because if you did you would know there is a reason why artists and musicians use macs, aside from the asthetics. they do what they’re supposed to do very well and don’t do what they’re not supposed to very well. but it’s a moot point.
there’s a metaphor that arguing about things like your favorite brand on the internet is like competing at the special olympics. even if you win you’re still retarded.>>>>>>k
Comment by Keone — 6/12/09 @ 4:30 pm
YOU ARE FULL OF BULLSHIT. You have no idea what u are talking about even with the backlit apple symbol it still runs on the quarter of a lightbulbs power. Also u can listen to music just fine. SO SHUTUP!!!!
Comment by Joshua — 1/1/10 @ 1:46 am
THIS JUST IN!!!
Steve Balmer signs Apple Laptop!!!!
http://www.engadget.com/2010/01/22/steve-ballmers-shocking-autograph-of-macbook-pro-caught-on-vide/
Comment by Mac Hacker — 1/22/10 @ 4:03 pm