It is quite hard to bridge the gap between this blog and the main website Blue Distortion, which deals mainly with art and music. However, this concept music does. Does your computer give you problems? Do you ever curse at your computer? Slap the side of the monitor? Pound on the keyboard with the rage and fury that only a spontaneous and unwanted reboot in the middle of something important can provoke? You are not alone.

Let’s look at the flipside. Computers, they put up with a lot of crap from their users. They are forced to take in data that they might necessarily like, but, you push it on them like the bastard you are. When was the last time you did something nice for your computer? Maybe your computer hates you. A lot.

Random acts of computer violence. Theory? Science Fiction? What if we were to find out how computers really feel about us. Presented is an experimental noise tune mixed in with a little bit of comedy. Yes, experimental noise with a bit of humor attached. Some may find this song disturbing. In that case, you should listen to it over and over again.

Download | Hifi Stream | Lofi Stream

The lyrics. more…

One of our correspondents has received word on the street that the game pogs and collecting pogs is cool again. We interviewed Lance Gerns, 2003 Pog Champion of Tampa Bay, Florida, for more information on what experts are calling a “regression fad” like New Wave music.

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After the wonderfully successful tutorial on how to backup the internet, we decided to write an equally important tutorial on how to ping everyone on the internets.

Sure, you are surfing online without any problems now, but, just how do you know that you will be able to connect to every site on the internets? How can you be so sure in your ISP? One of the other great uses of the Windows command prompt is pinging everyone. That is, you can ping every site online to make sure you will be able to connect to it in the future, just in case.

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It must suck to be a rat, knowing that they are basically a bushy tail away from being hand fed delicious treats in the park by fat people. After years of being treated like a diseased rodent, one rat decided to take things in his own hands. Well, actually, they aren’t really hands because rats lack the opposable thumb. In any case, Ronald Edwards, a 15 month old rat has undergone surgery to replace his skinny tail synonymous with rats for the bushy life.

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In a shocking move [not shocker], Paris Hilton came clean today and announced a heartfelt apology for her overall skankiness. In front of the Hilton headquarters, she made her revelation in front of a large group of awestruck new reporters. Luckily, Blue Damage was able to meet up with Paris after her speech to get a closer idea of what went wrong with acting like a slut and degrading our human race.

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Steve Widdle, former front man for the hardcore emo band “Forgive All the Blood,” died last week of undisclosed causes. Authorities would not release any information regarding his death. However, our team of investigators have found evidence that this wasn’t related to disease, badgers or even an accident; it was caused by being too Emo. We interviewed a couple of his close friends to find out more.

“At first, it was just a little bit of Dashboard Confessional here and there,” says his best friend / bassist Tom Ronalds. “You know, he was just about the music and having fun.” Tom told us that things quickly got out of hand right before his eyes.

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As Michael Richards effortlessly slips into his size 31 pants that he purchased at the pants store, he begins to feel the depression and agitation. “I miss being a fat ass,” he murmurs. Michael, fresh off the Atkins diet, lost over 100+ pounds in the last year. Although he should feel excited and proud of his accomplishment, he still can’t seem to shake off the respectable feeling of being obese.

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Why do people keep sending us hate mail telling us that Macs are better than PCs? They definitely aren’t. We have done plenty of research on the subject and have come up with three main reasons why you should never use or buy a Mac. These reasons alone give you permission to kick anyone in the face that uses one. Or tar and feather them. Whichever you feel is appropriate for the situation.

Reason number one is the fact that Macs can’t view pictures, be it a jpg, gif or png file. Most people who use a computer would like to view pictures. I know most of the staff here does. We view pictures all the time. This is one of the most important parts of the computer, besides Minesweeper. How can you view pictures on a Mac when they don’t have any programs! Where is MS Paint? Where is ACDSee? These programs are not available, thus, you can not view any pictures on a Mac.

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