Blue Damage

10/13/04

Bush and the Wireless Receiver

Filed under: — Recipher @ 8:57 pm

Bush Wireless ReceiverThere has been a conspiracy theory floating around the internet since the presidential debates began. According to some pictures taken of George Bush from behind, there is a suspicion that he was using a wireless (wifi) receiver during the debates. Many are convinced that there is no other explanation for the noticeable bulge in the middle of his upper back.

Let's face it. If the president was going to use a wireless receiver during the debates, do you think he would be a bit more discrete about it? Across the internet, bloggers and reporters have apparently found the device used and linked to the page. This page labels the product as "affordable." Do you really think that George Bush doesn't have the budget to purchase, maybe, an "expensive" wifi unit? When was the last time you recall Bush worrying about a budget anyway? Do you think that maybe John Kerry wears one too and the receiver is tucked away under his taint? Who cares! Both of them look like complete assholes, and a wireless device won't save them from that. Well, you may be asking, "What is that in the pictures then?" Here's my theory.

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10/11/04

Bush Kills Superman. Dick Cheney Kills Puppies!

Filed under: — Recipher @ 6:23 pm

Cheney Kills PuppiesWith his opposition to stem cell research, Bush has killed Superman. That's right, Christopher Reeves is dead because George Bush is against stem cell research. Not only will his opposition put us years behind the world in terms of medical technology, but it will also kill many other superheroes with life threatening physical conditions in the process.

Vartox, extraterrestrial of the planet Valeron, was at first an enemy of Superman. "I haven't been on Earth for quite some time, but, I was shocked to hear the news," said Vartox. "Would Bush wake up already? Stem cell research is the future of medicine." Lex Luthor, long time enemy of Superman was happy with the news. "I couldn't have asked for a greater gift from my good friend George," salivates Lex. "I think I want to form some sort of coalition of evil in the following months with him."

While interviewing Lex, he was killing newborn kittens and eating them... just for fun. His giant poster of George Bush eerily gazed down at us. Lex asked us to stay a bit cause Dick Cheney was coming by to hang out and kill puppies like the one above. He also talked about accidentally shooting "liberal" lawyers like Harry Whittington, a ironic way to feed the gun control nuts so they don't pay attention to the widespread corruption in both parties. We decided it was time to go.

What really happened in the last presidential debate

Filed under: — Recipher @ 1:31 am

Have any of you viewed the latest presidential debate? It seems that you can never really get a straight answer about who really won. Let's face it, the reviews of these debates are quite slanted and biased. Here's a quick rundown of what really happened during the debates, courtesy of Distracted on the Blue Distortion Forums. Here is the original thread.

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