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	<title>Blue Damage &#187; Scientific Distortion</title>
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	<description>The most important and sarcastic information on the interweb.</description>
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		<title>Disregard the Candle Party Invitation, Government Mind Control</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/10/14/government-using-toxins-from-candles-for-mind-control/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/10/14/government-using-toxins-from-candles-for-mind-control/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Oct 2007 03:50:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Political Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/10/14/government-using-toxins-from-candles-for-mind-control/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
&#8220;The tragedy of the whole thing is that candles are so beautiful,&#8221; Chemist Benjamin Jones exhaustedly affirmed. Jones was dressed in a Batman costume, however, for the sake of truthful journalism, we decided to hear him out. &#8220;Certain types of candles emit toxic chemicals that nearly train the mind to become malleable. The high [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dick Cheney Tells National Archives He&#8217;s a Robot</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/22/dick-cheney-the-robot/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/22/dick-cheney-the-robot/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Jun 2007 12:42:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Political Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/22/dick-cheney-the-robot/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ Well, Dick Cheney is at it again, with his wacky dance moves and delicious homemade cannoli rolls. However, the latest with the Vice President unfortunately doesn&#8217;t involve wacky dancing or cannoli rolls. Cheney, in order to greasily slip his way out of providing classified information for the National Archives, told them that he a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/22/dick-cheney-the-robot/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Snooty Hybrid Drivers Are Polluting At Record Levels</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/18/hybrid-driving-pollution/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/18/hybrid-driving-pollution/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:18:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cultural Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/18/hybrid-driving-pollution/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
The latest statement in &#8220;green&#8221; technology is without doubt hybrid automobiles. However, even hybrid automobiles still require burning large amounts of fossil fuels, regardless of how advanced the fuel efficiency is. Trey Kaitens, an expert in energy consumption, psychology and rare stamp appraising, has some startling news about the fuel consumption of hybrid drivers. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2007/06/18/hybrid-driving-pollution/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>George Bush Vetoes Stem Cell Research Bill, Collects Embryos for Project</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2006/08/09/george-bushs-embryonic-army/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2006/08/09/george-bushs-embryonic-army/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Aug 2006 22:19:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cultural Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Political Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/2006/08/09/george-bushs-stem-cell-army/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ It would come without a shock that the first and only bill that George Bush would veto would have to do with Stem Cell research. Of course, this isn&#8217;t news as all as it happened nearly a month ago. However, there are new developments in the story that Blue Damage was able to uncover. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Whale Traitor to Reveal Secret Location of Last Whale City</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/12/30/whale-traitor/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/12/30/whale-traitor/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Dec 2005 08:52:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Max Power</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Political Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/?p=128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
For three very wet and slimy months, our staff Sex-o-chiatrist, Max Power, has been pulling double duty as a war correspondent embedded with the Marines.  He was with a pod of covert, marine, placental mammals, known simply as whales to you common folk, that have been performing various hit and run style operations against [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Intelligent Design Advocates Pin Science as a Religion</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/12/22/science-is-religion/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/12/22/science-is-religion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Dec 2005 16:38:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/?p=129</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Deep within the Midwest, several Intelligent Design &#8220;experts&#8221; have formed a lobbyist group. A coalition of the willing. They haven&#8217;t come up with a name yet because it&#8217;s very brand new. Representative from this very brand new group, Tom Watts, had the following to say.
&#8220;Look at it like this, science is a religion,&#8221; Tom confided. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/12/22/science-is-religion/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s Time to Declare War on Mother Nature</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/09/07/war-on-mother-nature/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/09/07/war-on-mother-nature/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Sep 2005 22:35:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Political Distortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/?p=94</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Mother nature, with it&#8217;s sexy winds and blistering sun, was the latest target of Washington&#8217;s axis of evil earlier this week. After Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, a lot of politicians are saying enough is enough. &#8220;It&#8217;s hard work,&#8221; said President Bush. &#8220;American&#8217;s have resolve and we will win the fight against mother nature, and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/09/07/war-on-mother-nature/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bush Endorses Teaching Intelligent Design, Regression</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/08/02/bush-intelligent-design/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/08/02/bush-intelligent-design/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Aug 2005 18:18:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bluedamage.com/?p=96</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What may come as a shock to a majority of Americans, President Bush announced today that he would like to see alternative creationist theories in science education, theories such as intelligent design. &#8220;It&#8217;s hard work,&#8221; Bush said to reporters. This is obviously long overdue and a great addition to any public school. Bush is calling [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/08/02/bush-intelligent-design/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Hurricane Conspiracy</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/16/hurricane-conspiracy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/16/hurricane-conspiracy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jul 2005 09:41:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Max Power</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Hurricane Boycotts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.bluedistortion.com/?p=85</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Can you smell it?  No, not your stinky roommate, not those self-aware half eaten Ramen noodles either.  I’m not even referring to your torn up khaki cargo pants, the ones that you loved back in 98, and most likely haven’t washed since.  I’m talking about the fear people.  
It is the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/16/hurricane-conspiracy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Killer Trees of Wyoming</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/11/killer-trees/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/11/killer-trees/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Jul 2005 05:51:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Max Power</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.bluedistortion.com/?p=84</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hundreds of thousands of years of mediation and a few late night viewings of the Matrix have given the Ancient Trees of Wyoming&#8217;s Yellowstone National Park an epiphany. They don&#8217;t have to be flammable if they just believe in themselves. It seems that the controlled burns that were thought to help the forest ecosystem actually [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/07/11/killer-trees/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>11</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Titan&#8217;s Surface Possibly Made Out of Viagra</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/01/17/titans-surface-viagra/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/01/17/titans-surface-viagra/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jan 2005 05:20:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.bluedistortion.com/2005/01/17/titans-surface-viagra/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Scientists always have been very intrigued by Titan, the only moon in our entire solar system with an atmosphere of it&#8217;s own. Clouds in Titan&#8217;s atmosphere has kept the surface a secret until now. The first color picture from the surface of Saturn&#8217;s moon was sent back to the European Space Agency&#8217;s (ESA) Huygens probe [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2005/01/17/titans-surface-viagra/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ginseng, The New Drug Addiction</title>
		<link>http://www.bluedamage.com/2004/09/16/ginseng-drug-addiction/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bluedamage.com/2004/09/16/ginseng-drug-addiction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Sep 2004 03:04:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Recipher</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Scientific Distortion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.bluedistortion.com/2004/09/16/ginseng-the-new-drug-addiction/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tom is your average teenager. He works long hours at the local grocery, attends high school, and parties regularly. Recently, Tom has discovered how tired he has been lately. He strenuously pushes himself everyday to find time for everything. One night Tom attends a party; he notices everyone is taking pills. Being an adventurous person, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.bluedamage.com/2004/09/16/ginseng-drug-addiction/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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