The new wireless standard, 802.11n, is going to revolutionize the speed in which you get brain cancer. 802.11n is actually multiple waves of 802.11g, which was the previous standard. By using a 802.11n wireless router and reciever, you can transfer data on multiple lines at once! This can only mean one thing besides faster internets. This new standard will allow people to get brain cancer up to 2 to 3 times as efficiently! Wow!

Our undercover investigators were able to uncover some interesting details about this new wireless standard. Apparently, The American Academy of Neurology, sick of being overshadowed by the evil of the government, is behind the new wireless “cancer beams.” “It is secretly guaranting them many, many more years of patients,” an anonymous optometrist told us. Optometrists are well known for their hatred of neurologists and anti-neurology propaganda. It was also rumored that these new 802.11n routers were tested on new born kittens. None survived.

Even thought the “Controversial Subject Sucks” trifecta was completed a while back on Blue Damage, a lot of things still suck and are worth bitching about. So, look forward to more and more “this sucks” and “that sucks” articles in the near future. Today, we will tackle one of the more important sucks posts. Face it, blogs suck and are a dying phenomenon. There are many reasons why blogs suck, but, we only have time to highlight the most important of them. We have a shuffleboard tournament for the staff of Blue Damage in a half an hour, so, this will be brief.

First off, installing blogs on the internets is hards! The staff here at Blue Damage has been internetting for a while now, and, installing blogs is one of the hardest projects we ever spearheaded besides installing AOLs on our computers. It took us an entire year and a half to just to get this blog up. But, it’s supposed to be easy right? Time elements aside, we still aren’t certain why we had to sacrifice the 1 month old kitten to populate the database. It just doesn’t make sense.

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Why googling for the phrase “my internets are”, you will find such gems as…

• My Internets are fastel than yours.
• My Internets are being starved of their my internet supply.
• My Internets are safe. (This was “varified”)
• My Internets are the down.
• My Internets are telling me conflicting stories.
• My Internets are very powerful, and thou shall find thyself tumbling and screaming in a raging whirlwind of cleverly crafted and origional insults.
• My Internets are consistent now.
• My Internets are leaving for a week or two.
• My Internets are particularly flakey today.
• My Internets are telling me that they are read only. What do I do? (nice)
• My Internets are going to be raped.

What are your internets up to?

All over the world, people are very impressed with the latest Apple gadget, the little brother of the iPod, the iPod Nano. It’s very cool looking at first, but, looks can be decieving, huh Marc Summers? Here at Blue Damage Headquaters we were given an opportunity to try one out and give a review for our dedicated readers. Without further ado, here is why the iPod Nano Sucks (and it does a lot).

First of all, since it is so small you can’t even fit cds in it! How are we supposed to play music on this device without CDs? It just doesn’t make sense. We spent at least 3 hours trying to insert a CD into the iPod Nano, but, we were largely unsuccessful. We did what any person having trouble would do, we loaded up our copy of the internets and started searching. We found some solutions such as waving the compact disk counter-clockwise over the iPod in an attempt to transfer the files. Also, we tryed plugging our Sony Walkman (which plays CDs correctly) into the iPod to “record” the songs on the iPod. Both solutions were ultimately unsuccessful and we are still searching.

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For years, users wanting to import a Microsoft excel spreadsheet into a Microsoft word document had to do it by hand. This is somewhat frustrating since it could take several days to recreate some spreadsheets. These unfortunate users are in luck because of the latest Office Updates available on Microsoft’s site. The fine software engineers at Microsoft have developed an interesting new way to import called the Smart Import XP. This will allow you to import a spreadsheet into anything including word documents, ms paint pics, internets etc.

First, you open up the Excel Spreadsheet and print it out. Make sure you print it out on one page, because, it won’t work otherwise. This is very important. Then fax the printed spreadsheet to your computer. Make sure your computer has fax enabled. You can do this by clicking on the Start Menu -> Fax -> Enable Fax -> Now. You can also enable fax using command prompt by typing the following command.

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When a computer asks you to delete the internets you should sheepishly oblige.

The process of deleting the internets does take quite a while, sometimes up to a half an hour. But, think about how much space this will clear up on your hard drive! Make sure you have a backup of the internets before you delete them incase you need them in the future. Below are some common problems with deleting the internets that we have received in emails. Solutions follow. You can send us more questions here or post in this thread.

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Why do people keep contacting Blue Damage telling us to try out Firefox? A couple of months ago, our entire staff (we all run Windows 3.1) tried out Firefox and came to a few conclusions about this terrible excuse for a piece of software. The general synopsis of our conclusion revolves around it sucking almost as much trying to surf the internets on a Mac.

First off, you can’t customize Firefox at all. You are basically stuck with the defaults or WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get). Maybe they should make this software open source so people can develop useful plugins or nice themes for it. Internet Explorer has tons of cool plugins like Cool Search, MySearch etc. Some plugins will even change your IE homepage to a neat internet portal so you can effortlessly purchase provisions like Viagra and play Online Poker!

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If you’ve ever been on the internet, you probably have or have had a computer virus at some point. That is unless you use a Mac (they can’t access the internet). While the majority of viruses are damaging, extremely annoying and make you want to pound your head repeatedly into a brick wall, every once and a while a virus actually is useful and warranted. OK, this probably the first. Stan Downings, a student at USF, has written a self replicating virus that does some interesting things when users go surfing on the wonderful world wide web.

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