Blogger Pissed, Still no Girlfriend
We all know the the surefire way to pick up ladies is by blogging. Absolutely. Richard King, a self proclaimed “blogger by influence,” is quite pissed off that he still hasn’t met any ladies. Blue Damage spoke with Richard to discuss his love life, or, lack there of. “I’ve been blogging for, like, 6 months or so,” said Richard. “All of my internet buddies told me that blogging using Wordpress was the easiest way to pick up ladies online. I still haven’t met one girl from this whole ordeal. I mean, I usually only get spam comments.” Richard told us that he covers very interesting topics ranging from calligraphy, stamp collecting to even milk taste-testing.
In a series of events a little bit too similar to the humorous Office Space PC Load Letter issue, John Dems has had enough, and he surely isn’t laughing. “Chalk up another one for the Kodak 3200 Duplicator, it appears I’ve lost again,” said John. Working for a company with the bullsh*t title of “Facilities Clerk,” John is very familiar with copiers. “I’ve been doing copy jobs for over 4 years now. Ever since I started here, I’ve had nothing but problem after problem with this copier. I’m damn sick of it,” murmured John. What seemed to be an easy copy job this time around turned out to be a nightmare. Only 130 double-sided copies of 80 sheets was needed. 
Frightening the community of New Haven, Connecticut, Kiducation released it’s collection boxes across the city. These collection boxes feature the phrase “we turn old clothing into new kids through education” labeled under the company’s name. We found it strange that they could genetically spawn new children from old clothing using education. We spoke with Mike Brown, part-time volunteer for the organization about their procedures. “Yeah, it’s a new practice involving creating children from old clothes. I know it sounds evil, but, our company is good at heart.” We then asked Mike how education plays a part in the process. “Well, a bunch of us were sitting around one day with some old clothes. Using education that we had learned over the years, we were able to take an old flannel and spawn a new kid named Frank. There he is over there.” We looked over, and sure enough, a young boy was waving back. He looked quite normal and, ironically, was not wearing anything flannel. 